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hpgeek339

hpgeek339

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hpgeek339
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  • It is definitely a great draft.... It needs improvement, however. For example, in a love scene such as this, the male is (most likely) not going to laugh/chuckle. The line "I kissed again on his lips" is not great. It should say &qu…
    in Is this a good paragraph? Comment by hpgeek339 May 2021
  • It is definitely a great draft.... It needs improvement, however. For example, in a love scene such as this, the male is (most likely) not going to laugh/chuckle. The line "I kissed again on his lips" is not great. It should say &qu…
    in Is this a good paragraph? Comment by hpgeek339 May 2021
  • It is definitely a great draft.... It needs improvement, however. For example, in a love scene such as this, the male is (most likely) not going to laugh/chuckle. The line "I kissed again on his lips" is not great. It should say &qu…
    in Is this a good paragraph? Comment by hpgeek339 May 2021
  • It is definitely a great draft.... It needs improvement, however. For example, in a love scene such as this, the male is (most likely) not going to laugh/chuckle. The line "I kissed again on his lips" is not great. It should say &qu…
    in Is this a good paragraph? Comment by hpgeek339 May 2021