Do you think I am depressed?
I'm a senior in high school and I have a few issues. For two weeks or so at a time I'll feel normal, like happy and things. But then for about a week I'll start feeling suicidal, and I'll feel like I'm worthless and that I have no purpose in the world. I'll also feel like the world would be a better or unchanged place if I was gone. I'm also obsessive about checking if my doors locked, and it really pisses me off when i HAVE to check if my doors locked like 5 times before I'm satisfied that it's locked. I don't want to go to a doctor because if I get diagnosed they might put me on pills and my dad died from a combination of pills, so I don't trust the medication that doctors give me. I've "self-medicated" for three years now, and I'm trying to get off my "medication" so I can be more productive and have more of a chance to get a job.
So what are your opinions/suggestions?
Comments
I am no doctor, but I was diagnosed as having mild depression when I was younger (14-15), and now I am 18, and in my first year of college. However, I do know that the behavior you are describing is similar to Bipolar syndrome, which is where you have extreme highs and lows in mood, often unpredictable. I know how it feels to be depressed, where that worthless awful sad feeling washes over you. Just remember that you DO have many good things going for you, even if they are impossible to see when you are in that depressed state. The other behavior you have described sounds, to me, (again, I'm no doctor), uncharacteristic of Bipolar syndrome. Though Bipolar will definitely make you have random obsessions with things. If you've ever been incredibly interested and obsessed with something for a week, and then have no interest in it at all, you may be Bipolar. If you have great trouble in social situations, and are often socially awkward or don't know what to say to people, then you may be Bipolar. Depression is a symptom of Bipolar. It is somewhat alarming to me that you have been "self-medicating". If you have been doing this for a long time, with little or no input from doctors, you should REALLY check up with a doctor to see if everything is ok. What if it is the medicine you are taking that is causing your depressed feelings? You have to consider all these things. Just remember one thing: The way you are feeling now is not how it actually is, its just how feel because of depression. And believe me, depression can make Bill Gates feel worthless, cause its a very very powerful disorder. There is a reason why you are feeling this way, and all you need to do is find that reason and it can be fixed. I did it, my family and friends did it, and with the help of a doctor, its guaranteed to work. Depression is the worst feeling in the world, believe me, I know. But despite how awful it makes you feel about your life, it can be cured. If you have the time/money/resources, you should take a vacation, or even just a day trip somewhere to clear your head. Go nowhere that reminds you of anything or anyone you know. You need a change, it will be a relief. And then when you go back home, it will seem much better, because you will feel not only glad to be home, but you will have a sense of accomplishment, which is key to recovering from depression. You don't need to go with anybody else, and it might actually be better to go alone. If you want to go with other people, only bring your closest of family and friends. Only bring people who you have absolutely no problem talking to and spending time with, and the same for them. These are all things that worked wonders for me. I am sure they will do the same for you.
It sounds like you're depressed to me. Just because you see a doctor doesn't mean that you'll be put on a medication. Your doctor may also suggest seeing a psychologist or therapist for talk therapy. You may be surprised how much better you'll feel if you allow yourself to open up to a therapist and discuss your problems. If talk therapy is not helping they may recommend that you use medication as well, but it would not start with strong meds or even a combination of meds. They would start you out at the lowest dose and monitor your progress. Good luck!
Yes i think you do have some signs of depression, pills will only make things worse because when you are taking them they help and it's scary when you are off of them, your thoughts get worse and worse and you fall into a deeper depression. The way to deal with life is to deal with it on your own, without the help of anything. Even though you may think that the world will function without you which it will but think about the people you will hurt along the way if you hurt yourself, think deeply about your mother, you will change her life forever, she will never be happy again if you do care. My best advice to you is talk to your friends, they are the best at helping you get through things.
seems to me that not only do you have senoritas but you are a little lonely. seems that you need to get more active like join a club or even a sport. if not that then you could always volunteer. and its a good idea if you do get that job, or even a special friend.
-my opinion
I actually have no opinion or suggestion. I believe you should live the life you choose to experience. If you do decide to continue down the path which you are on, I may suggest not whining about it. Ok, one suggestion.