Does Cancer change you?

My ex-sister-in-law was diagnosed with stage IV liver cancer last year. She was told she was not going to survive my brother (her ex-husband) aided her during her treatment as did their college aged daughter. Last week to everyone shock, she miraculously beat the odds and is cancer free.

She and my brother then revealed that throughout the ordeal they fell back in love, realizing how precious life is and have reunited and are planning to re-marry. I'm shocked does cancer truly change you? Did her brush with death change her?

Comments

  • It didn't change me.

    Well, except that I know now that my body can let me down, badly. So I'm less optimistic and more wary than I was.

    An I'm somewhat bitter about what cancer has taken from me; disfiguring surgery and arm lymphoedema haven't exactly boosted my confidence

    I kept waiting for the sky to be bluer and birdsong to be sweeter, lol - but it never happened.

    My favourite 'damn-I-wish-I'd-said-that' quotes about cancer say it all for me; they're from Shelley Lewis' great book 'Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer', in response to those who claim cancer is a life-changing gift:

    ''If you think cancer is a gift, you must have a closet full of really shitty stuff.

    If you think cancer is a gift, I hope you've saved the receipt.

    If you truly believe cancer is a gift, you can't come to my next birthday party.''

  • It makes you value life so much more. Someone taking care of you and doing

    it on their own, shows love and many times it will start many relationships in

    the right direction. Knowing that life is so fragile and realizing that you better

    make the most of it while you can, you re-evaluate what you really want in

    life and what was important, before this took place, may not be as important now;

    while loved ones, family, and true friends take the forefront.

    By change; I believe it is more of a realization of discovering the real

    feelings and the way you think about things. It could be any life threatening

    illness that brings this about.

  • It does. It allows you to focus once more on what is really important.

    When a loved one, such as a wife gets cancer, you don;t care about material things, a new car, a bigger house, a new TV, all you want is for that person to survive and recover.

    You get close together once again.

    A friend of my wife ( passed away from breast cancer) told my wife, when diagnosed. " this will be one of the most rewarding things in your life." I though, " yea, right.!" But she was right,,

    It makes you focus , once again, on what is truly important.

  • Yes, any progressive, life-threatening and degenerative disease will. While I do not have cancer, I do have a life-threatening and degenerative disease and it truly has changed me for the better I believe. I'm not the same person I was two and a half years ago. It completely changed my priorities and my goals in life. It's made me stronger and it's made me seek things in my life that make me happy and I believe are precious. It sounds like the same thing happened to her. That truly is fantastic though she survived. (: I'm happy for her!

  • No...It didn't change me. I was still the same optimistic, glass half full person that I always was. With an incurable disease, you have no choice but have the will to survive. Yes, it may change some people as it did your ex-sister-in-law. She realized what was important in her life.

  • Very much so. It has made me a better person, and more caring towards others. It also made me appreciate my friends and family more, because it made me open my eyes that any day could be your last so love them while you can. It sounds like that's what it was with your sister-in-law.

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