Please Proof Read My Paragraph?

<> A high school diploma is an important part of my future. There are many job opportunities available in today’s society; however, any high paying career requires a high school diploma. There are several benefits of graduating high school. For starters, it is required to enroll in any college, which is necessary to continue education and develop a skill for a later career. By achieving the rank of a high school graduate you can show any college, and employer that you contain the necessary motivation to start something and see it all the way through. Having a high school diploma can also give you a large confidence boost. Many people in today’s society are highly unmotivated, and decide to drop out of high school. By obtaining your high school diploma, you prove to yourself, among others, that you have what it takes to succeed in life. <>

I am typing a paragraph for school, and need to make sure i followed the proper writing guidelines. It's been a while since i've studied english lol.

Comments

  • A high school diploma is an important part of my future. There are many job opportunities available in today’s society; however, any high paying career requires a high school diploma. There are several benefits of graduating high school. For starters, it is required to enroll in any college. Higher education is necessary to develop a skill for a later career. By achieving the rank of a high school graduate, you can show any college and employer that you possess the necessary motivation to start something and see it all the way through. Having a high school diploma can also give you a large confidence boost. Many people in today’s society are highly unmotivated and decide to drop out of high school. By obtaining your high school diploma, you prove to yourself and others that you have what it takes to succeed in life.

    I changed one sentence (which seemed a little long) and took out a few unnecessary commas. I also changed "contain" to "possess"...hope that's better. You don't need a comma before the word "and" unless you are separating independent clauses. It's a good paragraph other than just a couple of things! :)

  • There is a a comma needed after between the words "graduate" and "you" in the sentence: "....school graduate you can show any college, and employer.." Also, in the same sentence, there is no comma needed between college and the word "and."

    Other than that, it is great! Hope this helped!

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