Help my stepdad is a problem..?
Hi, I'm 21 and don't live with them but when I visit I have noticed how my stepdad belittles my mum along with me and my grandparents.
I've always made an effort to get on with him, taking him to sports matches ect.. and accepting him as part of the family and feel betrayed by his actions. He always complains about our family even though his own avoid him and can't stand him. He never helps out and just sits and watches sports all day every day and isn't working while my mum is. Then he gets moody because he wants the houes to himself so now my mum is comming to stay with me for a week.
He also tries to con my grandparents out of money and talks over them all the time.
I don't know what to do or think.. help
Update:also they aren't married.
Comments
Your mother married him. If she wants to leave him, help her do so. If not, lay off. You can't change him, and annoying him will just make things worse on your mother. Certainly, you should and can, calmly tell him what you don't like and why. I'd advise you do it when your mother is present so he can't twist what you said and make himself a poor victim.
Do everything in your power to convince your grandparents not to give him money and help them somehow withstand his pleas.
I'm 45 and my husband deals with domestic abuse victims (verbal & physical) every day. You can help your mother with therapy, support groups, monetary assistance. You can't change this guy's behavior, nor make her stop loving him/residing with him until she is ready.
Is marriage counseling an option?
Maybe first try talking to your mom because she can probably put a stop to the way he is acting more than you can. My stepfather used to treat my mom poorly and would just sit on the couch watching football while she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking for him. We both hated him when I was younger but then something changed in him and now he treats her with more respect. That took about 20 years. If you don't want to wait that long then I suggest talking to your mom and telling her that she should demand he stop treating her and her family disrespectfully. If she doesn't want to do that, then I'm sorry but you may just have to realize it is her problem, not yours. I know when you care about someone you want to help them but they must first help themselves and if she won't after time you may be emotionally exhausted from watching her go through all the pain that at some point you will need to back out of her affairs for your own good. Hope this helps and I wish you well
same problem here, but i think that you should say something to your stepdad in your mother. if he is not working he have little of the say so in the house. tell your mother how you feel.