How do i help fix a girl's self-esteem?
I like this girl. A lot. She is not my girlfriend, though. However, she seems to have very bad self esteem. She even told me once that there's nothing special about her. I told her that I think she's a pretty special person, but it didn't seem to help. I don't think I can handle being with a girl who doesn't think much of herself. How could I help?
Comments
Do not try to establish a romantic relationship. The best case scenario on that is that you will be in love with someone with low self-esteem, and that's a trap.
Learn to validate. This will help you in many situations throughout life. Learn to say, "I appreciate it that you [here you insert something that the person does, not anything about appearance.]"
or " I value the way you______"
It's important to me that you_______"
It's good that you can_______"
When in doubt, validate.
And the real beenfit to you is that if you can raise someone's opinion of themself, they will raise their opinion of you.
Well here is some experience from someone in her* shoes. I go through this with my boyfriend. I have to feel good about myself and no matter how many times he tells my Im pretty or whatever I just only believe myself. Ask her what she feels badly about. If its her body go to the gym with her. Dont say oh go to the gym but make it more about you* even tho its her so she will do it and not feel worse like it really is a problem even tho u dont see it as one. Say I need a workout partner come with me? and by her going with you* shes going to see improvement and then it will boost her esteem. Especially by throwing comments out like wow - your doing better in the gym that me, your really looking good ect. This is just a scenario example but whatever it is you can help like this.
Then again you said you werent her boyfriend so you may not be willing to put in that kind of effort...but if you are this will help - its what got me where I am now - a little more self esteem.
Tell her that you think she is amazing and you would like to take her to dinner - as a date. That should boost her self-esteem. Also, compliment her on something that she is doing in her life. (IE - I think it's great that you go to school full time and work! I don't know many people that can handle all of that!)
Thats girls for you, they always say they're fat and ugly (when usually they are) but what you can do is make her appreciate herself some more by telling her she's a really nice person and "The world would be perfect if everybody was like you" that may sound stupid but trust me, I bring girls back on their feet with that cheesy one-liner
Good luck mate
You can't "fix" a persons self esteem. You can make suggestions and offer reassurance, however, self esteem is esteem of ones self. No one can tell you how to feel about you.
You should sit her down and explain to her exactly how you feel and that you want to help her and be there for her
something bad in her life could have effected her, like bullying and just have a good talk about it, then if she gets it all off her chest she may feel a bit happier and confident about her self.
Good luck, i think it's a sweet gesture that you want to help her!
xx
i recommend this only if youre a good listener and can think of good responses to things she says.
Next time youre with her and she start beating herself up about things she doesnt like about herself, ask her if she wants to talk about it. Then if she starts to talk, listen to what she is saying, let her say everything that she has to say, with no interuptions, and when she is done, possibly give her sum advice. Or even tell her what you think. You might have to be very specific, if she says no one would ever go out with me, say Id go out with you. You cant let youre feelings for her scare you from telling her.
right.. heres what to do.
buy some of her favourite flowers , make up a poem for her.
about her appearence or something ,or how you thin kshe should like herslef more if you want help email me , [email protected]
so give her flowers , ask her out to dinner ,tell her how pretty she is ,describe her lovely eyes or something ,you have to tell her everything you liek about her ,you have to pound it into her head*not literaly* get it into her brain, keep doing so ,with gifts etc ,or just pouring your heart out ,good luck and,..if you ask her out,she may get more esteem dude so...yeh try that lol xxxxxx
you need to show her she's special not just tell her. you need to make her feel she's special. take her out, treat her like a princess and that no one else means as much to you than her. take her to a nice dinner and some one on one time like a walk in the park to just talk about anything. let her talk and listen to her! that's very important.
Sadly, whatever you say, if this girl has low self esteem, it will be hard for her to believe you.
So, just try being her friend and valuing what she does, thank her for any support she gives you, be patient and it may pay off.