Low self esteem?
I am 14 4'11 and 82 pounds. I get straight As in school and have friends. I've never been asked out though and have almost no boobs (like barely an A cup). I also wear very little make up and more modest clothing. People call me "adorable" and "cute" because I'm tiny but I myself have never felt beautiful. Do you think I should bare more skin, wear extra make up, or lose weight? Do you think weight loss would be helpful?
Comments
It's hard to say too much without knowing more about the situation and making assumptions, but here is my opinion.
I'm 34 years old. I don't think you should try losing weight or changing your appearance unless you feel like the change reflects who you are. It doesn't sound like you should lose weight at all. It might not even hurt if you put on a little weight. At 14, people don't really know what's going on, especially when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. They're trying to get the idea of how they should be and how they should act around others. I would try focusing more on expanding your circle of friends and even work on friends around you. Not necessarily trying to get them to change their opinion of you, but trying to get them to know you better. You sound like you might be more of the modest/shy type. You make straight As, so you are smart. Use that to your advantage. Listen to the things people talk about and jump on the opportunities that come up to share common interests with people you like. I know it doesn't always seem like this would work better than showing a lot skin or doing something that screams for attention, but if you are a good person, then when someone gets to know you, it can be very easy to become attracted to you. Also try to watch closer for signs that someone likes you. At 14 it is very easy to be too concerned about how others think about you and completely miss the signs that they like you.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Don't get down on yourself, I know that's easy to do, but I still think it's better get people to know you for who you are, than it is to change yourself into someone they will notice.
There is absolutely no need to change your personality or appearance for society. You are fourteen years old. You're not going to have the biggest boobs or the exact amount of weight you feel is more attractable. Hell, even when you're eightteen you may still look the sane. But that is ok because you are who you are. People are attracted to women who feel comfortable in their original skin and dont try to make any altercations on themselves. I feel that if you continue to mainly focus on how you look and what you can do to make yourself look better, it will only hurt you even more. Be content and happy at the fact that you dont look like what you want or what society thinks is right. Be yourself and dont let anyone or anything make you think different.
If you look around, you will find tons of people with your stats whose huge personality and desire made them as popular as anyone.
be yourself
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