Please do you like this paragraph?
Indeed, the power that decreed silence and servility to be my destiny also planted in my heart the desire to escape that fate. I believe that God has a greater plan for me than living a little life in which I face no challenge or grow as a person. All my life experiences have instilled in me the ability to face challenges that would crush an ordinary soul. I know that attending Duke Law School is an opportunity most people from my background will never have. I am determined to make the most of that chance.
Comments
The beginning is rather wordy and over the top, don't you think? If this is an essay about why they should let you into their law school, or why you want to go to their law school, your reason should be more than just because it's a challenge and that you like challenges. I would think that they want to know what to expect from you once you finish and how you will represent them as a Duke Law School grad - what you plan to do as Duke Law grad, any lofty ideals or goals that would make them proud or honored to have you. They already know why you want to go to their school. The question is why should they choose you to join their club over thousands of other Joe Schmoes just like yourself who are also trying to blow smoke up their bums. Set yourself apart. Just sayin'.
btw Good Luck!
Yes!!