Why do parents dislike constructive criticism so much?
I'm not talking about from kids, I'm talking about other people even family members giving advice on how to parent their kids. It's like they think that their too perfect to take a suggestion. I've seen a few questions on here like that. And parents are too stubborn to change? Technically constructive critiscism is how you learn. Think about it If a teacher writes on a students report, needs more detail, work on punctuation and capitulation. Isn't that a good thing. Yes. Now hopefully that student will work on that and get a better grade next time. That goes for a lot of scenarios. Why is parenting any different? Another thing, just because you get criticized doesn't mean you have to change. All constructive criticism is is telling what you did wrong and telling you how you can fix it. Most of the time that's appreciated. Why not for parenting? I'm not trying to be rude or start a huge debate or anything but I'm just wondering why that's such a sensitive subject for people. So much that something people should be greatful for is offensive?
Update:I understand what had been said so far. However even if your doing your best. No one is perfect, wouldn't you want to do better?
Comments
I know that with my family members there are ones that don't give ANY suggestions, and then there are ones who think I should let my son sit on the couch all day watching cartoons and eating garbage if that's what he wants to do. I have never had any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism directed towards me.
I think that all parents want to believe that they are doing the right thing. Parenting is a huge responsibility (the most important thing they will ever do) and many parents are constantly questioning themselves. When someone says they should be doing something different it is a slap across the face because they are doing their best.
Most parents are raising there child to the best of their ability and think that the way they're raising their child is good so far so when someone says something about anything they're doing it doesn't feel too good. Sometimes people just criticize parents because they don't LIKE the way the person is parenting not because they're doing something wrong. And if a parent IS doing something wrong the way someone criticizes them needs to be in a nice tone not a negative tone.
Criticism isn't always constructive. That's not hard to understand.
For instance, a few days ago when my sister came over, she criticized me for having the kids set the table, and then for having them clear the table and load the dishwasher. What is constructive about that? Not to mention that her own kids feel they should do the same. When I suggested that to her some time ago she thought it was nonsense. Her kids are 12 and 14, mine are 9,7,7 and 5. Why didn't she consider what I said, what her own kids said?
My friends mother who was adamant about her eating vegetables when she grew up, suggested that she not bother to feed them to him, as he would perhaps eat them on his own one day. What is constructive about that?
I listen when someone has something constructive to say, but most times that's just not the case. Most "criticism" is directed at what you aren't doing so that a child gets their way in lieu of a solution to any problem you might actually have.
Unless a parent has asked for advice people should just butt out unless their is something really serious going on. Just because my mum had some success with smacking her kids doesn't mean I need to try it.
Most constructive criticism in regards to parenting is actually opinion.
Most of the time the advise is not asked for. In other words unsolicited advice. How do you know that your way is better? How is your way better? Why is your way better? Unless you know the whole story than advice should not be given unless asked for.
1 word: EGO