Poem, no hecklers please constructive not critical comments please.?

My ex asked me to write him a poem... after he told me he was seeing someone else (live in same state, different cities) but that he still loved me but wanted time to "do this" and would we ever have a chance again.....so this is what I came up with... do you think he will get how I feel...

Two Peas

Two peas in a pod... what we were destined to be...

You keep professing love.. but I just can't see

Your words and actions... speak of intentions unkind

To her your body is given... but you say your heart is still mine

Your silence with me... has my love now undone

No longer do I want our lives to one day be as one

You can't have us both... I deserve better than this

So I tell you goodbye now... but what I thought we had I will always miss....

Comments

  • hey thats creative but u seem very sad

    i like the last line

  • It sounds like a good bye peom. If this is the message you are trying to get across then yes it is a VERY good one. He cheated on you or gave himself to someone else and your not gonna forgive him. So like I said it's great if this is what you want him to hear!

  • I'd change the last line so it ends on a stronger note.

    "So I tell you goodbye now....and my butt you can kiss. " No, maybe not.

    So I tell you goodbye now...false lips I won't kiss.

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