HELP writing a descriptive paragraph?
Topic On a cabin deep in the woods.
Update:well i've actually written a bit. but i've run low. heres what i have and i just need help i've been absent for class the past week.
The cabin buried in the depths of the swamped color forest giving off an eerie feeling, which would send chills down anyone’s spine. The old cabin had become abandoned with the logs looking grimy with cobwebs in between each column. Old oak trees wilt with sorrow, looking as if water was not accessible to replenish. Flowers also weeping making it seem like such a morbid place. Sky’s filled with pepper black hawks swooping above, so close you could hear the obnoxious squawk of each wing. Darkening clouds take over creating a foggy surrounding.
Comments
I stand poised at the edge of the clearing to look at my log cabin. It is small by some standards, just one large room really, but it’s enough space for me and my Cairn Terrier, Gloria. The logs have weathered well and the cabin blends into the background of oaks and pines. The tin roof gives me so much pleasure when it rains. If you have never fallen asleep in the rain under a tin roof you are missing something that no shingled roof can give you. The screened, covered porch runs across the front of the cabin, home to two wicker rockers and a wooden table between them. Many a night Gloria and I have claimed our rockers, sitting and watching the fireflies wink to each other over the wildflowers. One end of my cabin sports a river rock chimney, the same rocks inside forming a working fireplace complete with a cast iron tripod and pot - excellent for slowly cooking a nice venison stew. There are no curtains visible on the huge windows in my cabin because I like to look out and see what is going on in my little corner of the world. There’s no need to call Gloria as I start towards the cabin. She knows supper will be waiting...
The cabin was dank, as we opened the front door that, because there had been no inhabitants to give the place life, now creaked a surprised, somewhat startled, greeting. Dust had settled in every crevice, and the air was hot and still. The walls had evidence of life--pictures of the fishing trip last summer and that bear that didn't get away was hanging forebodingly, teeth still clenched in seeming disgust. The cabin's outer walls could stand a mild washing--the wear and tear of the seasons past made it look tired. Maybe a new season could put life back into it.
I don't know that I'd change too much. The first thing you should do is ad a verb to your first "sentence" or your teacher is going to ding you for having a sentence fragment. You might want to say the cabin "was" or "is" or "lay". Pick the verb you want. Also, I'm not sure "swamped" is a color. You might want to say, "swamped with color," or "swamp colored". The rest of your paragraph creates an eerie feeling which is what I think you're trying to do.
what kind of trees make up the woods? what color are the leaves? Is it autumn? Is the air hot/cold/humid/damp/brisk/clear, can you see the sky or are the trees to thick? Can you smell a fire in the cabin? smoke from the chimney? crickets or birds? what are you walking on? pine needles make a certain sound, but grass is different, and so are pebbles. Is the cabin big or small, cold and dark, or lit up and waiting for you?
i shall write an example forr youu...
"The pines were thick and green. Their auburn needles lay scattered on the cabin's wrap around porch. The evening was cool, a little below the usual summer's temperature. The air smelled like trees and the rich earth below my feet..."
hmm...i love descriptive paragrapghs, i did mine on spongebob by the way.
well, you have to write details about how it would be when you go to the cabin in the deep woods. would it be eerie, or spooky? or would it be a good sight. write what we would smell, see, taste, feel and all the 5 senses. after you write that down, you have to decide which type of space order you will use. top to bottom, right to left, left to right. etc? and then describe what you ( five senses) going by that space order.
hope that helped...good luck and i bet you will enjoy writing it, coz i did!
You could write something on how a mother plays a important role in the house,the amount of work she has to do in a day,the amount of respect she deserves and what she is given. You could also impersonate yourself and imagine the stuff you need to do
Just close your eyes and imagine you are there. what do you see? Then write that down.