Please do you have advice on my paranoia?
I am 27 years old with bipolar 1 disorder and temporal lobe epilepsy. I am currently in a board and care for people with mental illness after just loosing my job and apartment due to these illnesses gettting worse. I am also part of a really good out-patient program at a local teaching hospital so I am safe and I do have support which is good.
over the past 2 weeks I have noticed some of my symptoms of Bipolar that landed me in the hospital for about 3/4 weeks in january and I really dont know what to do, because I dont feel comfortable talking to anyone about it at all.
Its even hard here online....but here goes. I often have great spritual experiences, but sometimes very bad ones. I can at the moment distiguish this is paranoia as Ive had it before. I am starting to get paranoid about birds (crows to be exact) trying to summon me into the spiritual realm, I believe my old neighbours have hexed me, I do believe they were going to murder me.. but I have moved now.. and they have no idea where I live.
Yesterday I heard a voice tell me that the real me is living up north, and I cannot make sense of this. Its almost getting me to the point of acting out again and running around on the streets trying to make sense of it all and rambling on to people.. but Im trying to tell myself its not real from past experience, ...but I am still very very scared, and its still very real to part of me. Sometimes my logic goes out the window and im right at breaking point.
WHat should I do. I am good at distracting, coping techniques like chatting with friends here, listening to to music...but it is starting to get stronger and stronger.
Comments
I tried to answer but it was always too long to be submitted so I'm starting again! Will try to keep it short.
I have a similar condition to yourself, and love mythology and spirituality. I always trusted my higher self, although it has been a huge battle.
My recommendations are... (trying to keep this short..sorry!)
1 ) Look up the link for ravens, and realise many witches and shamans have followed animal guidance for centuries..... ( longer than psychiatry has existed )
2) Read about Jung, he's fab. The amazon link is to a really easy book (plus you can check inside too) Jung, a graphic guide, or Jung for Beginners.. same book.
3) Look up the website I follow, about the 11:11 Gateway... there are many energetic shifts happening on the planet. If you click community, you will find the forum. I'm Lunara. You can read a post there that explains more how I have been affected by them, since - there's not enough room here!
There are all sorts of weird and wonderful people who take signs as meaningful... Its hard but if you look after your physical health and take things very gently, you can allow yourself to gradually explore this higher realm of spirituality.
4) Try to find people you trust that you can share your spiritual experiences with , as well as your mental health ones. There are people with plenty of experience in moving up the spiritual realms while keeping themselves grounded. I just put an ad on gumtree to find more 11:11 people. (You can reply to me via the ad if you like)
5) Use affirmations like... " I am safe. I evolve at my own pace" Make up your own, with phrases that make you feel in control and centred.
I had written loads more but I had to make my reply shorter so that's the basics. I relate to your fears and feelings of being overwhelmed, so I wished I could have shared more.
I wish you the very best of health and a safe evolution to your spiritual destiny.
Thank you for your courage in writing this....You will find your way... Keep your faith.
xx