Do I have a mental problem?
Everybody everywhere deeply angers me, I have no idea why but just looking at certain people just really gets me mad, I am also a very cynical person. I can control myself but I have gotten into several fights. This started when I was 15 and is still happening now and I am 22. When I was I a kid I had to go to anger management which didn't help. I also don't really feel guilty about things I do.
I can't keep a girlfriend for more than a month and I only have three friends who I can't be around for more than three hours. Also, no one knows I feel like this.
I don't have ADD, ADHD, or any other diagnosed problems. Also when I started being like this I became an atheist and switched from private school to public school. I got almost straight A's in school but I constantly ditched.
I am not some attention grabbing kid I just want my question answered.
Update:I am not bipolar either I am like this all the time
Comments
Darlin',
You might not think you have a problem; but I'll guarantee that anyone who has to deal with you would beg to differ!
I would not even venture a diagnosis, but your constant anger is really pathological. I would suggest a neurological work-up as a first step to a diagnosis. You could have a chemical imbalance that is causing the anger, or a brain tumor. You need to be evaluated.
I really hope you are able to get to the cause of your constant anger. That is not the way we are supposed to be. Please seek help.
Well, you said that this started when you were about 15 and it just so happened to be when you switched from a public school and became an atheist. This for one is a very crucial time for adolescents and you listed some pretty major changes. You may not like what I have to say, but I have taken many psychology classes and have some life experience on the same.
At the age of 14ish to 15, a change actually happens to the makeup of your brain. It becomes covered with a thicker mylin sheath. I know this probably means nothing to you, but what it does is makes you think that you are nearly invincible. It's in my developmental psych book, and I have witnessed that attitude with myself, and just about everyone I grew up with at about that age. I can remember back even now when I TRULY thought that I knew everything. I thought, these grown ups, what do they know? Cuz I really know what Im doin! Well flash forward, and I find myself saying the same thing that all the adults said to me then: if I knew then what I know now, etc, etc. You think that you are all grown up, but surprise, you live and hopefully, you learn. If not, you are forty years old with the mentality of a 15 yr old. Still wanting to party and hang out and get into trouble and not able to carry on relationships with women or even just people your own age. You have to start hanging with a 'younger' crowd. Im sure you've seen this kind of grown up.
With you, when your brain was going through these changes, you were also faced with environmental changes as well. I was not raised with religion at all. I am an adult and just about to join a church for the first time ever. I was faithless, angry, and lonely all of my life. Even with kids and in a relationship. I actually would meet people that were so happy all of the time and I would ask them. Their answer (in every case): I have a strong faith in my religion-Christian. This of course was silly to me, because like you I considered myself atheist. It was not until my world was crashing down in front of me and I felt like I couldn't live another day that I tried it out. I am not saying that it is a cure all by any means, just that God is out there. It doesn't have to be a man in the sky judging you, but just a spirit that guides you. I do not know which religion you came from, but this is what works for me.
You also say that you have no mental disorders but you are just angry with everyone all of the time. I think you need to either talk to someone to get to the root of your anger (which I do not think you will do) or really look inward at what the root of the problem is. It may be something so terrible that happened in your childhood that you do not want to admit to. (I know it sounds cheesy that it all starts with your childhood, but it really really does). If you deal with whatever the issue is, Im sure the anger will go away (along with having faith) and you will feel like a weight has been lifted. If you keep whatever the source is inside, this will be you forever, and you will miss out on so much that life has to offer.