College or Marriage? In a Serious Dilema?
I have been with my boyfriend for six years. We have lived 800 miles apart for 2 years of that.
He is active duty Air Force, and I am currently enrolled at a University.
I honestly don't like the university setting, and WILL be transferring to a Community College. But there is nothing that I want more than to get married and live with my boyfriend. (Financially we would be set, given he is in the military). After being apart for so long and loving so hard for so long, being with him is the only thing that really matters to me right now.
Is it a good idea to drop out of college to be with the love of my life, then go back to school sometime in the next few years? Or will it be something I'll seriously regret? HELP!
Comments
"Is it a good idea to drop out of college to be with the love of my life, then go back to school sometime in the next few years?"
I have no problems with that at all as long as you both postpone having children for a few years. If you start having kids right away that will change the situation entirely. Good luck. Go and get married!
First, a military pay does NOT NOT NOT make you financially set. It leaves you very poor. Any education you get now to help your family make ends meet in the future is a very good thing for both you and your future husband/family.
You don't say how old you are, and that can make a difference.
I would say get married if it's your hearts desire, and it sounds like it is, but DO NOT drop out of school. Many many people go to school while they are married. When you drop out of school, life seems to take over, and it can take YEARS to be able to go back. It's ALWAYS harder to go back than to finish while you're there. Where you go to school doesn't matter, as long as you finish it. There are studies that say the average lifetime earnings of a college grad vs. a high school grad is about a million dollars. Why turn that down? Don't. Stay in school, and get married too. You can do that. You will definitely regret it if you drop out of school...and you can marry your boyfriend anytime...if you two are that much in love. Your love will last..... Your earning capability will be significantly hurt if you drop out of school. Be in love, but be practical, too.
My husband is active duty Navy and I chose marriage and a baby over college. I don't regret it at all. He's stationed in Mississippi and when I move down there with him I plan on attending community college. Also, military spouses get discounts on tuition! And since you were planning on transferring anyways, I say go for it!
P.S. I'm only 19
i would want to know how long you need to be in college to get a degree, if it is 2 years do that first. if he is going to serve until retirement then you will be hopping all over the globe most likely and it is good to have some education in case you want to pick up a job to keep from being completely bored where ever you are, also if for some reason he decides he does not want to make a career of it then you have an education to fall back on while he uses his service to get a degree in something.
What 20 something gals don't realize when they are in your type of situation is......yeah your set due to his income his career his everything.....the day happens you and him don't work out. Yes...it can happen because no one not even myself gets married and thinks it might not work out. But things happen in life. Well when that does happen and it might > now you have quit school didn't set up yourself with a career or job instead depended on him for income. Now it's cut off. Your out in the cold. It can happen.
Let's say on one of his long trips during his duty he cheats and it's not something he planned to do but it just happend.....you find out about it. Now trust is gone the marriage starts to fall apart. Now what? In life you need to make sure you have taken care of yourself meaning doing what your doing now going to college getting a job and being able to make it on your own.
You will regret this if you quit now. In afew years you won't go back to school. You end up staying home having babies and then the hammer comes down on the marriage but you went a different direction in life. You chose to NOT work on you. think about it.
if you both are about the same age,then he is not financially set being in the military.
just because you don't like school is a poor reason to get married at a young age
i would say get into the working world and do not get married yet
Hmm... ok, nicely first of all you're already signed onto his debt, you signed on once you married... you and him owe funds and also you're both to blame for funds jointly. 2d of all, as far as actual battling, are you hitting him again? if so, you're both performing very immature and prefer to achieve some administration of your emotions. once you're offended, upward push up and take a verbal change, take some deep breaths and calm down instead of letting it enhance. you're very busy and dealing alot and going to school, yet are you acknowledging that he's operating besides? you at the prompt are not the purely one in this relationship, and also you're trying to juggle a wedding ceremony, college, and a pair of jobs... seems somewhat a lot and that i recognize i'd be on part continually if that were me... so I tremendously doubt, that you're calm and giving him and your marriage each of the interest it needs. absolutely everyone says terrible issues at the same time as they are mad, absolutely everyone. yet you're mad and also you likely say issues besides to make him mad. Is he prepared to pass to counseling?
STAY IN COLLEGE. You never know what could happen in years to come.
Since you guys seem to love each other so much though. Just wait it out and in the end you'll be glad you didn't drop out.
You just gotta do what you feel is right. It's a BIG decision! You gotta ask yourself, Can you live without him or can you live without school for a little bit? Would marrying him be worth it?
I hope you can reach the best decision for yourself!
stay in college he sould understand your coice