Do you think this poem is good?
This poem is based off a dream I had last night....
I wasn't trying to make this rhyme but I did make the last 2 lines rhyme on purpose....
I might add more on to it later, don't know yet....
The Fall of the Rising Sun
By: Adam M. Snow
Dark is the day that lingers on and on,
Whether it be, or whether it may not,
But in spite of everything, that was but now is gone,
We are but lost in the echoes of the dark.
Forever in darkness where light dares not to go,
We dug our earthly womb, deeper than man can go,
Purged our hearts with a white rose thorn,
Broken, every childish dream.
Now manifest is our love for hatred scorn,
Yet we are alone, on this trimester morn.
Update:*edited*
Dark is the day that lingers on and on,
Whether it be, or whether it be not,
In spite of all, that was but now is gone,
We are but lost in the echoes of the dark.
Forever in darkness where light dares not to go,
We dug our earthly womb, deeper than man can go,
Purged our hearts with a white rose thorn,
Broken, every childish dream.
Now manifest is our love for hatred scorn,
Yet we are alone, on this trimester morn.
Comments
its more that good its goood..xp great work more amazingly is that you forge this one from your dream,very nice, although i felt hopelessness in your poem which make me feel sad,in a sense that your poem do sink-in..;p -inspiring work..
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably ought to rhyme inspite of the incontrovertible fact that it needs to hit my emotions. i think of readability of expression is critical besides. i do no longer p.c. to 2d wager what i'm analyzing approximately. I consistently seek for what I term "poetic gem stones"in the text cloth.
Yes! I think you are a very good writer, very different, but meaningful.
yes, it's great