Teenage daughter - Who do i ask about special needs?

My daughter is approaching 16 and will be leaving school this year. She will be sitting for her exams and it is predicted that her grades will be poor.

It has been apparent for some time now that her communication skills with adults and her peers is very poor, and also that she finds it difficult and almost impossible in some cases to do basic tasks, and lacks understanding in many areas. In many ways she is immature for her age, and lacks basic social skills. Although she is able to communicate effectively with a few selective people, she would rather isolate herself and not communicate unless she really has to, and even then she finds social contact very difficult.

I have given a basic outline of the problem, but my dilemma is where and who do i seek advice from in the first instance? Does anyone know where i can get her assessed? Is it too late to approach the school as she will be leaving soon?

Any advice will be appreciated...thanks.

Update:

Red Widow.......i would like to add that i have in the past tried to address this to school and child psychiatrist, but have been met with a brick wall mostly, and i think this is due mainly to the fact that symptoms are mild and she has managed to get by. It is difficult to get authorities to take notice when they have more pressing cases on their agenda.

Comments

  • Actually your daughter sound very much like mine. Our daughter is 14 and is diagnosed with atypical autism but she is in a mainstream school. Our daughter will definately need support after school but as she has a statement she should be offered this anyway.

    Presumably your daughter will be known to the schools SENCO and so they would be a good person to speak to. They should be able to put you in touch with Connexions (don't ask me why they spell it that way.) who help with the transition from high school to either further education or work. Also your GP can help with your questions. Finally try your local council for advice on services available

  • You need to go into school and speak with the SENCO. Ask the SENCO to organise a common assessment for your daughter. The common assessment is usually done by parent referral so they cannot refuse you. The assessment will draw together all the professionals who need to be involved with your daughter and will give an over view of just what is going on and which services should be involved with your daughter. Also seek advice from your local parent partnership service, (the number is in the phone book) they are impartial and will be able to help in all sorts of ways. Don't give up on your daughter as she has a right to some support if she is struggling, and never take no for an answer. I wish you and your daughter good luck.

  • I'm sure you've probably already been approached about this by school, however, have you queried this with them? They would usually be the best people to help you.

    If not, your local council's Social Services department are the people to get in touch with. I'm not sure exactly how it works but believe there will be a number that you can call to refer your child for advice. From that, I think they assess her needs and will provide assistance where needed. The only problem may be that as she is 16, it's could be classed as being too late for her.

    If it is too late for Children's Services, it may be that Adult Services are able to pick up the case and support her. It all depends on what the problems are.

    Hope this helps.

  • The school would be a good start, although I wonder why none of her teachers has ever suggested she be assessed for special needs. Is this a recent development? Have you had a good check-up with her doctor. There might be something else going on. I would suggest a thorough check-up with a paediatrician. Try to write some sort of history before you go - when you first suspected something wrong, the sort of things she does and doesn't do etc. At the same time tell the school what you are doing and why, and enlist their help with psychometric testing etc..

  • The school is only required to do testing if the problem is educationally relevant. If kids get by, then the school is not required to do anything more.

    All services that are provided to special education children are earmarked for their education. When I pay taxes, I understand that I will be paying for a child's education. And I don't feel that I should pay school tax dollars to pay for extras, because right now, there aren't any. We can't rely on the school to give social skills training, unless it is educationally relevant.

    What do you see as your responsibility to your child? If she has made it through school, it is time for you to pick up the reins. As a tax payer, I don't believe that is my responsibility.

    For some reason I am thinking you aren't in the US, so I am not sure if this applies to you or not.

  • I'm Dyspraxic but I went through the same process.

    Firstly, if there is one, go to the learning support at school or something like that, they will give her a simple test and if they think she might have a learning difficulty then they will refer her to an educational psychologist (but their sessions are very expensive).

    If not just write a letter of concern to the school stating what you are worried about.

    But it will probably be too late to do anything about her gcse's but if your lucky it might come through!

  • She sounds like my son. He has Asperger Syndrome. I think if you thought something was going on with her you should have said something before exam time. It might be hard to get services now. Go to your special education director and talk to them about making special arrangements for her.They should help you. She should have started social skills training years ago.Keep working with her. Take her in public and make her ask for help, get her to say hello to people, answer the phone, teach her life skills...

  • You can still ask the school. You can also talk to your doctor.

    If she is planning on going to college, then make them aware of your concerns. There are provisions for students and there is alot of help out there. There is also a course (which may be available at your local college) that prepares teenagers for life outside of school and the parental home, where they are taught how to care for themselves, cook and clean etc.

  • Talk to guidance counselor or superintendent. In PA we have IU which sets goals for educating the special needs child. As long as she is in school I would try. Get in touch with your state Dept of Education.

  • It is surprising that the School have not already approached you. It is definitely worth speaking to them and also to your GP who will be able to point you in the right direction.

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