Help pLz have a serious problem?
i know this is gonna be freaky but i love my teacher he is gay but i dunno i'm confused i wanna be with him the whole time but he's 38 its impossible and plus he's got a life partner i'm soo fustrated i don't know what love it is its def not love as in i wanna have sex with u and live with u for the rest of my life but i just can't help thinking of him anyone know anyway of getting less atached to ppl and i have problems at home and i can't tell my parents he knows i love him almost like a father i told him and he's alright with it but i really don't like clinging onto ppl but i do that and in the end i make them kinda dislike me any advise i would gladly appriciate
Comments
When I was 12 I had this extremely huge attraction to my group leader who was around 20. I was so in love with her it kept me awake at night. I found her so beautiful and I could not understand this aching inside I had for her. The summer passed and I had to go back home. I missed her so much. I told no one. years passed and I mean years over 20, just to give you an idea and I still had her in my heart and soul. Life goes on though. It's like a secret that stays locked in your heart. This kind of love IS CALLED TRANSFERENCE...you should read about it. She still comes into my mind now and then even though I have never seen her again. She was my first clue that I was not straight. So I thank God for that. Good luck, you are not alone.
How old are you ? I would guess you are in your teens ? You said you are having problems at home and can't tell your parents so I guess you don't really feel comfortable talking to them about anything . If so then that may be the reason you are feeling the way you do about your teacher . You seem to be reaching out for a mentor or a farther figure . You may also get too attached to people because you are craving attention and when someone gives you a little attention you crave more . We all need to feel and be loved , we are human and we were were not created to be alone . My advice would be find someone you can talk to and me a mentor to you someone that you can have give you the attention that a farther figure should give and if you don't have someone in your life that can fulfill that need then maybe a relative or a close friend . Best of luck to you .
Andre this isn't really a serious problem. Many student get a crush on their teachers. It's normal. Sometimes it is a big crush that interrupts everyting in their mind until they get what they want. Sometimes it just lasts a couple of weeks.
Your best this is to wait until you graduate from high school and if the crush is still there then tell him. But go on with your life until then and see what happens. There is little doubt in my mind that your teacher, since he has a life partner, would be interested in a student. If he were interested in a student he would be in a better position if he were no longer your teacher.
Best thing to do is get out of school first then if he's interested go for it.
Andre, before i go anyfurther i would just like to point out that i aint gay...... You may be attracted to your teacher, but as far as i'm concerned thats all it wil probably be. Your probably in your mid teens, at a time when many questions about your sexuallity will crop up and being confused and finding your teacher attractive may be one of them. I would personally let this man live on with his life partner and try and seek other means of love, relationship in either a gay or straight relationship if the chance comes along
I'm glad that you have a gay teacher ... someone who can serve as a role model. Part of that special relationship, then, comes from honoring his relationship if indeed a relationship is what you desire. You also have to realize that there are dangers for him in his job if there is even suspicion that you two have a sexual relationship. So, although this infatuation is very, very special to you, you will have to think beyond yourself and realize that you can probably have him as a friend, but that it's probably unrealistic, much less unhealthy for both of you, to think of this relationship being anything other than that.
Watch the news. Teachers are getting busted all over the country for having sex with students, it's not a pretty thing. He will lose his career and go to jail. Don't do it! find something else to get passionate over: hobby, music,sports ect.
It's so easy when we're young to become attached to one special person in our life. I don't think that what you're going through is abnormal but if you're looking to move on from this, I would gradually stop hanging around him as much and try to find something within yourself that you thing is really unique and work on making that your image. Basically when we're attached to one person like that we're subconsciously trying to be like them.
oh precious, your teacher is taken. you would not feel right to start a problem not just for him but for you as well. you're still young and i'm sure you'll find someone who is available. i think you adore him and you look up to him, but do not confuse that as being in love with him.
Get a hobby or interest that takes your time, energy, focus while you sort out your own sexuality...particularly, before you were to include someone else in your own confusions.
it depends on how old u r, cuz if ur like 12, then telling ne1 would make u a perv