Hurtful sister. . . How to deal?
My sister is so hurtful all the time, well not all the time I guess but you know what I mean. She just knows me so well and she knows excactly what to say to hurt me. I have self confidence isues and she uses that against me. She just keeps going and going untill I cant take it anymore. I have cried myself to slleep so many times because of her, and I dont want it to be like this anymore. The horrible thing about this is that she does it on purpose, she just loves to see me suffer. Even when she is not hurting me she acts like a Stupid B*tch! She wont let me use her Ipod because she thinks I will steal her songs, like I dont have a mind of my own. And thats not even close to all that she does to me, she embarases me all the tie. Whenever I say anything she twist it into something stupid. And se is abusive, she physicaly hurts me. People ave told me to just ignore her and to not let it bother me, and thats life but she lives with me and I cant.
Please help me
Thanks so Much.
Comments
i think you should just ignore her like other people said. if you take all her crap and cry and show her you are weak she will continue to do this to you coz she feels strong. i know when someone (as close to you sister ) tells you things, it hard to take and you wanna cry but be strong. dont show your fear to her. act tough. if she tells you something then think where its coming from(that would be your sister who only tells these things to hurt you but its not true right). if she tells you something and you show her that you are hurt then she has succeeded on her mission. its hard to ignore her when living in the same house but if you dont ignore her now she will do this for rest of your life making you feel miserable. so now there is 2 things you can do.
1. act strong and dont worry about what she says coz
half of the things arent even true.
2. think what she says and feel miserable and cry rest of your
life.
I have two sisters (I am the oldest) and you sound like my youngest sister talking about my middle sister, let's call her Mindy. Mindy is like your sister. She likes to use insecurities of others and plays with them, she hates to lend her anything and often can be very selfish. I used to defend my kid sister and tell Mindy to be nicer and stuff, but I can't and haven't the past five years because I got married and moved away.
I told her to stop borrowing Mindy stuff and try to avoid her at all cost. I don't know about your sister, but some people like her don't change. She's 24 and she is still as juvenile as she was at 14. I suspect she might have a personality disorder.
Listen one of my SIL too is like Mindy, difficult and often puts down my younger SIL and both are married and live 30 minutes from each other! There's a Mindy in every family and even though we love them because they are family , half the time, we just can't stand them. Try to talk to your mother about the situation especially the physical part, maybe she drive some common sense into her head. Other than that, try as much as possible to spend as little time as you can with her alone, don't borrow her stuff (clothes too) and rant about her meanness to a good friend. If she is hurting your self esteem, talk to a school counselor,but first with your parents.
Maybe family therapy is needed.
My older sister was very mean to me also and ignoring her did help a bit, but more so as we got older. I finally realized that she was jealous, because our lives took such different turns as we got older. I was the baby at home and got more attention, so she punished me for that. From now on, try to look at her with love when she says or does something mean and say something kind to her in a soft tone. For one thing, if anyone else is around, it will make her look like what she is. Maybe others will see it and try to get her to stop. Good luck!
Mine is still mean to me when she knows I'm down. I don't know if it ever changes. I just don't go around her very much, but funny thing is, I'm the first one she calls when she's in trouble or needs something. Go figure!
What do you parents say about it? It sounds like she is jealous of you. Don't give her a chance to hurt you. Stay away from her as much as possible. Stay busy with your own friends and don't ask to borrow or use anything of yours. If she twists what you say, sigh deeply and say, "You know that's not what meant at all."
Say to her "What are you getting out of this? Surely you can find something better to do with your time."
Find boundaries and ignore her. That will bother her more than anything else.
If she physically abuses you, report her to everyone you can including the police.
This behavior is unacceptable. If your parents aren't listening and stepping in then go talk to someone in your school, like a guidance counceler, teacher or the principle. You can't ignore this abuse. Their are hotlines to call too in your area. Proper authorities do need to step in to protect you from her emotional and physical abuse. There is absolutely no good excuse for this behavior. She needs a lot of help to keep her from doing these behaviors. You could benifit from the services for domestic violence like protection, therapy and just being heard and believed.
Things like the iPod that are hers belong to her, so if she doesn't want to share them with you then live with it because she doesn't have to.
As to the rest, tell your parents. Don't go to them whining about it because they'll likely not listen as well or at all if you do. Just go to them when you are calm and collected and tell them what your sister has been doing to you. Make a list if it will help you talk to them about it better.
Ignoring the situation, is probably the worst thing you can do. I do not know how old you, or your current situations, but I'd bring this up to your parents/guardians. If someone is really that abusive do you really want them in your environment. If your guardians won't do anything to stop the abuse, seek higher power.
my little sister is like that. easier said than done, but you need to come to a point where you just ignore her. no matter what she says, be the bigger person and walk away. hopefully she'll grow up some day. but for now, just walk away, ignore her. don't let her hurt you. just know she is going to find anything and everything to hurt you. walk away.
She is a bully. The only way to deal with them is to stand right back up to them and show them what your made of. Hurt her right back in whatever way she hurts you. But never do it first or you could get the blame if she told someone. I used to be bullied by my father but now i throw everything he says back in his face and he is almost scared of me now, but i respect everyone else in my family (who respect me). Its the only way to deal with it............ don't ignore it.......you can deal with it by yourself if you don't want to make a fuss. Don't hurt yourself anymore by ignoring it. She will back off in shock when you hurt her back. The more you let people walk on you, the more they'll do it.
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