Do I have a problem/disorder? ?
Okay well I have low self esteem and am very self concious! I am always worried about what people might think of me! I had been called fat and do get teased at times and I always laugh it off so people think its a joke so they sometimes say it to me more and stuff. Even if there joking I take that as an insult and deep down it effects me in many ways! I always look at other girls and say to myself why cant I be that skinny! This one girl is my best friend and she's skinny and pretty and all that and lots of guys like her and it makes me feel really upset because no guy likes me, and then I get images in my head that if a guy wants someone skinny then I'm never going to be loved! I wore this hoodie throughout winter because I was scared I looked to fat in it and people would judge me without me knowing! I wore a hoodie all summer because I said I was to fat for normal clothes! I have lots of problems, people always say I'm pretty but I call myself ugly. I guess its safe to say I have extremely low self esteem and self consciousnesses. I can't talk to my friends, family or anyone about this because I tend to keep things to myself and act like nothing happened and because Nobody understands but me. I feel horrible about myself, and i never tell anyone so I slowly start feeling worse and worse about myself. Sometimes I feel So happy and nothing bothers me but then there's times where I cry and think of all the problems I'm facing in my life and I get kinda suicidal because of it and feel down on myself and depressed. I really shouldn't feel like this but I do. On top of how I feel, I have a bad life because I live with my mom and she doesn't have a job so we don't have lots of money and were getting kicked out of our house because my landlord is selling it and we have no where to go so I might have to live with my dad which will make me depressed because I see him ever 2 weeks and I never want to go over there because I hate his girlfriend and I'm always bored. I'm a 13 year old girl and before you start saying stuff like your looking for attention... IM NOT! These are serious problems I'm facing and I really need help or I might just kill myself. I really need to know if I have some kind of medical issue/ disorder or something! If I need to get pills to control This. I don't know just someone please help me!
Comments
I know how you feel, being 13 itself is really hard... And being 13 with a low self esteem and people constantly ragging on you must suck. You need to take a deep breath though and try to organize your thoughts. For example, if weight is a problem, instead of binge eating and feeling depressed, take it as a challenge. Start working out and eating healthy, it will make you feel good and release your endorphins, not only that but you'll end up looking good too, which will kill two birds with one stone. Next, stop comparing yourself to other girls, you should instead focus on your great qualities. Instead of thinking "oh, I'm so fat and ugly and these girls are so amazing" think, "oh I have great hair" or something along those lines. Really, focusing on good things might be hard at first, but it's actually easy and nice. You gotta tell those people to stfu when they're being rude, at least tell them that it bugs you and you'd like them to stop. They aren't going to if they don't know how you feel. It all starts with one thing and ends up becoming a whole routine. Lastly, don't think about killing yourself, which I doubt you will anyway.. This is gonna be your "awkward" phase, and it sucks, but it will pass. Just enjoy life and do things that are productive, do things that make you happy and don't stress over your image too much. I bet you look fine, but you just compare yourself too often. BTW, middle schoolers have the worst taste ever and they'll fall for any girl that flirts hard enough, trust me!
I am very sorry that you are going through this, but how you are feeling right now is a very normal thing. At your age, girls are usually very self-conscious; especially about their weight and complexion. If weight is the only thing that is getting you down, why don't you do something about it. If you don't want anyone to know, there are lots of things you can do in private like exercise in your room every day or manage how much you eat, or whatever you think helped you to get to the weight you are. One thing you should know is that stress adds to your weight gain, so the more you stress about it, the more weight your body will keep adding on. If you were to begin doing some type of exercise, it would help to decrease your suicidal tendencies because it would help to create endorphins which literally help to make you feel happy. A lot of times, teens have a poor diet which can also lead to imbalance that can increase feelings of depression. If you have health insurance, you should see your doctor and ask them to give you a physical. This will help to eliminate any disorders like thyroid, blood pressure or diabetes. Being young doesn't always mean you are in the clear from health problems. I know your mom might not be the best person to talk to being that she has enough problems of her own, but you need to talk to someone. As for the situation with living with your dad, I would try my best to be the better person and at least be respectful and patient with his girlfriend. If you are going to have to be living with them, it's in your best interest to get along with her. It's not likely that your dad will choose you over her unless she does something outright cruel right in front of her face. You don't want him to feel that you drove her to do something irrational because you were too busy having a bad attitude towards her. Always be on your best behavior so if anything goes wrong, your dad won't feel that you caused it. Let her dig her own grave if that's how she wants it. You never know, you might end up becoming friends. Just keep in mind that you are ONLY 13 and you still have your whole life ahead of you. You feel bombarded with the problems that are occurring around you on top of your own problems, but these things and feelings can be temporary. Just start with the things that are in your control. The things that are not in your control, don't spend time worrying about them if you can't change them. Best wishes and don't forget to exercise for physical, mental and emotional health benefit.
Trust me, you are not alone. Girls, especially girls your age, have these feelings. Your body is changing and it might feel strange and alien to you. You probably feel fat because you've grown. I bet you aren't fat or ugly at all. I won't deny that you feel that way though. Please don't consider suicide. These feelings are temporary. They're not worth taking your beautiful, precious life. Think about it! Would you destroy a mansion because of a crack in the paint? No way. You have a problem. Talk to someone you trust about it. They may refer you to a doctor. She may help you through talk therapy, or if they decide it's the best option, antidepressants. Honestly, though, you don't want to be on them if there are other options. They alter you and you may be dependent on them for the rest of your life. Trust me, I went through all this as a teen too. It was horrible, but by the time I was 14, I felt like a completely different person. Good luck, friend. Hang in there.
hey there : )
well I am no doctor, but from personally going through anxiety and depression myself, it sounds to me like you may be as well. It definitely sounds like you are under a lot of anxiety, especially with your appearance. if you don't handle that now, it could develop into an eating disorder. I've had so many friends go through that, it's not fun to say the least.
secondly, I am glad you are opening up here on yahoo, but you need to talk to people you love too. it may seem like they won't understand, but you need to give them a chance, trust me. they will understand more than you know, even if they don't show it the way you expect them to. tell someone close that you love and trust what you just told me. if you can't talk to them face to face because you feel too uncomfortable, write it down in a note and give it to them.
these feelings you are describing above are real and intense, I know how it feels.
having thoughts of killing yourself is not good at all. it's almost a sure sign you are experiencing moderate to severe depression. depression is considered a mental illness, therefore you can antidepressants (pills). I take them, and they have helped me a lot with depression as well as anxiety!
But you can't get them on your own, you need to talk to your doctor with your parents. Besides, I would DEFINITELY recommend trying therapy first, it helped me tremdously too but it wasn't enough for me. Antidepressants can cause unpleasant side effects.
anyways, find a way to talk to them, tell them, you have to do it otherwise nothing is going to get better, it's the truth. you need someone to help you work out these feelings. talking to a therapist wouldn't be a bad idea either.
ps., if you can't talking to your parents, could you talk to your school conselour? im sure they will be more than happy to help you talk to your parents, or talk to them for you.
please do what I said and tell someone, and do not act on these thoughts of killing yourself.
best of luck, kelly.
sarah...u dont have a mental issue...u have what i call..the hollywood effect...email [email protected] really just need to understand what is goin on...its alot to this...n at ur age its sooo hard to understand...i want to help u...email me...n we can talk...u will b fine...life is short...do whats right for you...confidence is EVERYTHING!!! Email me!!!! U will be fine....I will try my best to help you understand...ok....its just waaaay too much to type in this answer...especially on my cell....im a woman who been thru it all...big small...insecure n secure....lets talk n really take care of this issue:)