How do I deal with baby mama drama?
I've been in a steady relationship with my fiancee for the past 5 years and everything is well. The only problem is that he has a daughter and the mother never allows for him to take his daughter anywhere outside of where she lives.He can't bring her home with us and he has to do everything with her over where she lives. I've expressed my feelings about the situation over and over again with my fiancee but he says there is nothing he could do, that he is trying to resolve the situation but his daughter's mother makes the rules and he has to go by them. We are going to get married soon and I just don't want this situation to be ongoing. I need advice on what I should do to help ease my frustration.
Comments
He needs to go to court and establish paternity, pay the child support he needs to pay and get the visitation he's due. Without court papers, you're at her mercy!
Well he tells you the Mom makes the rules. That tell me that he does not pay child support or have a court order. Because if he did then there would be a court order stating who has the child when and where.
I suggest that you get him to a lawyer and have the terms in writing, but my guess is he has not paid and will be whacked with back child support.
Sorry but if this is the case then you picked him, and 5 years and not married and still engaged....wow...why buy the cow when you get the milk for free....sure he is not having the best of both worlds and you are just buying his BS
You should keep it shut and stay out of it. It is between him and her. It always will be none of your business. And it will be like this forever. You chose to be with him. No one forced you. So you just have to deal with it or find some guy who doesn't have a baby mama.
Think I am wrong, open your mouth in court next time he goes in regards to custody or support. The judge will shut it for you. The child has two parents, neither of which are you.
And if he wanted some visitation, he would have spent his time and money in court, not finding the next potential birthing partner. Unless he's an addict or a criminal, no court around would not allow him some overnight time. That is on him. He dropped the ball on that. He says there is nothing he can do because he is too lazy to do it.
And don't give me the whole he can't afford it bs, he could work two jobs instead of hanging with you and put his kid first.
He let's her make the rules because that is the way he likes it. Your just to blind to realize it. And you blame her. That is pathetic. Open your eyes.
"Nothing he can do," my foot! That's a bunch of c--p! A court can order the mother to allow him to take the child from her home.
Whether he should do so is another story. If he's continuing to do it this way because she really is that vindictive and is likely to make it extremely difficult for him to see his daughter, I think you're going to have to put up with it. His child needs him.
If, however, as I suspect, this is just an excuse to see the "baby mama," your problem is a whole different one. Maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee.
And, remember, any children you have with him will have his divided attention, because he already has a child he needs to care for. Think long and hard before you have a child with him.
he could petition the court for a visitation schedule...