Is this a potential problem for our marriage?
My husband and I were just married in September! We have talked about porn before and how we both felt about it. He always said that he looked at it and watched it in college but never really after. My problem is that the other night i came home from work and he had already left for his job. I went to HIS computer to start some christmas shopping since mine has been acting up and when i clicked the mouse and the screen came on is was a porno video clip staring me in the face...I am so taken back and am not happy about this at all! This happened last week and i still haven't said anything to him. I left his computer just the way he left it and after 2 days I went back and moved the mouse again and it was gone, so he knows he left it up. This has been eating me up for day and I dont' know what to do?
Comments
This is a problem if you allow it to be a problem. I'll never understand why so many women have problems with porn, but that's just me.
If you find it to be an issue, you need to just bring it up to him. You didn't go onto the computer searching for wrongdoing, so it's not a big deal to go to him and tell him the truth about what you found. Then, ask him if this is something common he looks at. Honesty is your best policy with things like this, you don't want to start snooping.
..men are visual creatures and sometimes they need to look at something that is stimulating.... now be honest if you see a hot guy dont you look and think hmmm but that is as far as it goes...he is doing the same with the porn
....relax and let him watch or even better let him watch and you have fun with him while he watches...let him live out a little fantasy once in awhile....better he is watching porn ....than actually doing the deed...like the one person said if its child porn, something way over the top or if porn is replacing you as a sex partner then worry ... if its not don't sweat it....
Poor guy. Can't even watch a little porn without guilt now. He will hafta have a secret from you and sneak around to watch it ...Unless....
Maybe he left it up on the screen with the hopes that you will discover it. Did he know your 'puter was on the blink?
Maybe he would like to watch them with you.
Without him knowing, Rent a disc and pop it in the DVD player one evening for the two of you newleyweds.
Why is it so bad. My wife and I watch it together....we've even messed around with our own camcorder..
Maybe a dvd camcorder should be on your Christmas list.
Betcha he'd love that gift ! And you even more for playing along with what he enjoys !!
There is only one thing to do- to communicate with him and share your thoughts.
Many husbands like to watch porn videos, movies and so on...it is a men thing...that we woman not always understand the need for this, but for them it is sometimes a must even though they are married and have sex with their wives.
It does not mean he does not love you or desire you - he just likes to watch porn like most of the man out there.
If you don't like it to happen, I would go and speak to him.
There are some options to deal with this situation:
1. Maybe you both could watch together a porn movie from time to time, to satisfy his need to watch it. If you don't mind to do it for him, maybe you could agree that the only times he will watch it will be with you and you both might enjoy it. Many couples find watching porn movies very interesting and enjoy it .
2. If you don't like to watch it at all, maybe you could ask him to limit the times he watches it and not hide it from you. Tell him the reason you don't like it so much and what it causes to you. Share with him how you feel about it and if there are any feelings as well.
3. If you feel hurtful or it hurts your feelings that he sees porn videos in general, then you should share with him your feelings and tell him how you feel when he sees it. Ask him to stop doing it and to respect your feelings. It is one of the compromises partners do. He will understand it.
Just remember that he has needs too and for some man it is a must...try to figure out what is your husband like.
You did not mentioned your age but sometimes further in life your needs and prospective of sex life will change and you might enjoy seeing porn videos with your husband. It enriches the sex life, nice to do with your partner and vary your sex life.
What ever you will choose- good luck with that.
Well, confront him about it, but be rational. Most men watch porn, and if it's something he's gotten used to, it might be hard for him to just go cold turkey.
You should also know that he isn't comparing you to a pron star. This is something a lot of women can't wrap their heads around, but it's true. Porn can't live up to you.
Well you just found out something important.... Almost ALL men watch porn. It doesn't mean he wants a divorce nor does he love you any less. It means he is a man and men watch porn. If anything I would just mention that you saw it on his pc and next time you would like to watch with him.
But don't give him a hard time about it. Unless you are watching with him... then you can give him as hard a time as you can. Wink - wink.
Communication !!!
How absolutely silly of you to see something like porn, find it upsetting, yet not even mention it.
You say "Hey honey.. I wanted to use the computer to do some shopping and-- whoa-- some porn popped up. What's up with that?"
and then you talk it over.
I don't know why it is bothering you. What would probably make him happy is that everytime he wanted to watch it if you went to him sat by him and gave him a slow BJ while he was watching. Over time even when watching it he would be thinking of you.
Porn is not just a physical thing. It's in his mind. The only thing that broke it for me was time and experience (age). I never cheated and I never will. My wife knows it and she doesn't mind if I watch it. She's even watched it with me on occasion. (this usually led to sex of course.)
Don't be angry about it, it's his "problem" but you can help him.
You should get over it... Unless he is watching kiddie porn or that really weird stuff... you really don't have anything to worry about. My man watches porn and I would rather him do that and get his rocks off when I'm not home or available... then go and find someone to do it with...
If she have been given the deer in headlight look, hazard is they have been mutually and he or she had no clue that he became married to you and had toddlers. i could ask him mind-blowing out or if he denies it and you nonetheless believe it took place-flow to counseling. I guess something became up with the two one in each and every of them. to no longer say it took place once you have been married, yet according to hazard till now you even dated on account which you pronounced it took place on your courting years.