Marriage problems. Need advice (serious replies please)?
Here's the situation. Im 34, my wife is 27. On July 2nd is our first year aniversary. I cought her red handed talking with a guy online sexually. And i mean full blown Cyber Sex type stuff. I had previous problems in relationships before regarding trust so i told her before we even started dating that if she ever does anything that seriously jeopardizes my trust it'd be extremely difficult to trust her after that. At any rate, about 6 months or so after that insodent things were pretty much back to normal other than my induced pseudo paranoia due to her previous actions. It was very minor though, i'd just ask her who she was at lunch with and stupid stuff like that. Just for piece of mind. There's a guy at her work who she has gone to lunch with i know on at least 1 occasion that she admitted to me. I had a growing feeling that she was hiding something and lying to me. So i setup a legal version of a keylogger. Come to find out she was dirty talking him too, and disrespecting me....
Update:Also, we have a child together and i do have feelings for her still obviously i really meant i loved her when we got married but i believe that love is mutual so now i find myself in doubt. PLS HELP!
Comments
What is the confusion? The same reason that you are even asking this question is the reason that she is cybercheating. She has no respect for you. If women know they can walk on you, they will. If they know you won't put up with it, they won't even get started.
Trust is the the most important thing, even more important then love, is trust. Your relationship is dead already. What do you need to move on? You afraid of being alone and you know she will screw you over the child.
Keep the keylogging and threaten her with this if she tries to stiff you on the child.
Why would you want someone that doesn't want you?
Now I am a woman so my opinion may have some significance.Now your wife honestly needs to be waxed off meaning left alone! staying in that relationship will only hurt you more unless you are prepared for it! It will only be a matter of time before those graphic discussions turn into physical ones ....nip it in the bud darling I dont know you but no one deserves this type of treatment. detach your self from her slowly.......the reason why people get married is to feel a sense of security....you obviously dont feel secure I know the feeling I am in your position right now.....everything she does you suspect shes cheating on you she left no space to be trusted.....youd expect every and anything from her.....everyone she talks to you think shes intimate with.....your always on your toes...I know I feel like this right now....best thing to do is take back some of the love you had for her protect yourself emotionally before she becomes the death of you
To start with, the age difference is not the reason she is acting the way she does. I feel the real reason is your inadequacy to fulfill her and her needs. Why don't you try to talk dirty to her since from what you say, that is her main thing.
If your character doesn't let you do this, you should force yourself to do it if she is the one for you.
The fact that she lost your respect on the account of having lied to you is a strong motivation to reexamine your position with her and decide whether she is all that important to you or you can do without.
Keep in mind that if she somehow lied, and to what extend, to you once, she can easily do it twice, since she now knows where she stands with you. It's completely up to you what to do and decide.
If I were in your shoes I'd let go. You have a broken glass situation. Can you glue it?
ditch her, she's prob not in love with you