Need serious advice, no rudeness please.?
I am a well educated, (BA, MA in English Literature/ Teacher) resonably average looking woman ( 5'4"-140 lbs, Hispanic, brunette) with alot of world experience (lived in Europe for years) , I dress well, maintain impecable hygiene, work out, watch my diet, have a crazy sense of humor, yet I have never in my entire life been approached by a man. Every man I have ever had a relationship with I have had to approach first. I know that I may not be societies ideal image of a woman (certainly no Angelina or Giselle) but I have seen less educated, less attractive. less hygienic women get hit on while I remain alone. It doesn't matter what kind of situation it is, from formal high scale events to the local pub, men just avoid me. I have asked male friends for thier advice and none seem to be able to figure out why either?
Comments
You're definitely a "solid catch". No offense but those characteristics you described should definitely grab some body by the horns and want to be with you. You have a lot going for yourself and you don't need to go to a bar or any place where it's all about looks. I'm not saying you're not a good looking person but you have to realize that society has come down to looks. People don't realize that looks fade away after some time and the true personality is what sticks around. Everyone goes around trying to find themself someone who they can show off to others; it's ridiculous.
What you need to do is just pursue your career, your life. If it takes for you to talk to a man, so be it. A lot of men are shy so don't be surprised that you haven't been approached. There is no way that no man will want someone who has this much going for them self; absolutely no way.
Also, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? Not that age is going to make that big of a difference but in our society, it's not just a number, it's become a determining factor, sadly to say.
I can't offer you any specific advice other than you're not the only one who goes through this. I myself am basically the same as you (except for I'm a male and I'm still in college), I always have nothing but the most innocent desires and intentions and I can't seem to ever 'pick up' a woman, so on the advice of my closest female friend I gave up trying and just let it flow. I know I can't offer you case-specific advice, but I want you to know that it probably/more-than-likely has nothing to do with you. If men don't want an awesome woman with a lot going for her, then they're just throwing away a great chance.
More than likely men are intimidated by you. Maybe you are prettier than you let on. Sometimes the whole demeanor of a woman will make a man take pause and move on if they feel that they have no chance.
No need to make the first move, but making eye contact and presenting a sly smile can do wonders.
Very hard to give advice like this when one doesn't know the whole story.
Over and over again, men tell me that it is not that they expect women to be drop-dead gorgeous, but that a woman "do the best with what she has." Men do not expect or even want Barbie dolls - but men DO want a woman who "takes care of herself" and who "does the best with what she has." Doing the best with what we have is actually fun - it reaps increased self-esteem for oneself. And what we do with our looks must ultimately be to please ourselves or else we won't be true to ourselves. I have met people from time to time who seem afraid or ashamed to be "girly." In fact, I have known some women who could easily be mistaken for a man, and almost go out of their way NOT to be feminine, as if that is embarrassing. I've also had a friend who constantly tried to hide her "endowments" and her beauty - and now you'd never know she could be a pretty girl. Obviously these things probably have something to do with unresolved past issues, and I understand that - but it seems such a shame for a woman to deny her own attractiveness. Chances are that if you really want a guy in your life, you will dress accordingly. You will wear makeup and clothes and groom yourself to bring out the girly feelings in you and the MAN in him. (And hopefully you will not stop doing all those things one month after the wedding.) Pamper yourself for romance, no matter what your situation, married, dating, or not. Do what makes you look and feel good for yourself - for example, soft skin, pretty nails, bubble bath, a massage, beautiful hair, and clothes that make you feel and look your best.
The truth is - attracting men and having a successful relationship is not rocket science! Success is always less complicated than failure. Anyone who has made up their mind to succeed will find a way to make it happen.
Well It could all come down to your first impression on others..
OK you look nice and take good care of yourself but do you act lady like or a little more laid back............ Possibly easy going and easy to get along with or bossy and high maintenance.......... A girl can be at the top of the rankings as far as her beauty and sex appeal but if her personalty, attitude and/or her manners ( whether she is polite and courteous or not) are poor then she probably would make a lousy date so guys will enjoy the view but never approach her........................
I have to agree with BabeHeart, it would be very difficult for us to answer this question without actually knowing you, but I will say this, as just a shot in the dark:
Judging by your screen name alone, maybe you come across a little high strung or conceited.
But, like I said, I don't really know you so it's hard to tell.
I think that you might possibly be attracting the good guys, and good guys (myself included) are notorious for being shy and rather intimidated when it comes to a woman they are attracted to. I finally just had to get off my butt and go after the gal I wanted.
Hopefully this helped.
Also, nothing is hotter to me or the good guys than a woman we are attracted to, asking us out.
If people who know you can't figure it out, it'll be pretty tough for us, who don't know you, don't know what you look like, how you carry yourself, how you come across to others, etc can say why men don't approach you.
Confidence is typically a people magnet...but if your demeanor is somewhat imposing or intimidating then that could be an issue.
All we can do is guess...
HHMMM i'm no longer likely specific on account that i don't be conscious of you, yet consistent with probability you do no longer look approachable. If a guy sounds like he would be shot down staggering off the bat, then he in all probability wont hassle coming near you in any respect. consistent with probability it would desire to be your physique language. consistent with probability with the aid of the years of you no longer being approached has made you slightly bitter and green with envy. might desire to you consistent with probability be outwardly exhibiting bitterness with out even understanding it? (Crossed palms, scowling face and so on) consistent with probability watch your physique language and attempt to make your self seem greater friendly and approachable. human beings's expressions on their faces say plenty to strangers. in the event that they do no longer smile or make eye touch or walk in an unconfident way, those are different issues that would shop human beings from arising to you. merely a theory
Maybe you dont attract the "hit on " type.
reading your profile i'd love to get to know you. but meeting you in a pub or something, i'd probably not want to run the risk of making a fool of myself.
Plus, a lot of guys probably dont want someone successful and smart, but someone ditzy and ordinary but easy to catch.
maybe you look like your high maintenance. or too much for them.
good luck
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and feel free to mail me.