How do I tell my parents I'm depressed?
I'm 16 years old and I've been feeling like this for a while. I ignore the feelings of sadness and I put on a smile for the sake of others. If you ask anyone who knows me, they'd say I am the happiest person alive with no worries, but I'm actually the exact opposite. My sister was depressed last year and she actually attempted suicide, thank god she didn't go through with it. She told my parents and they sent her to therapy and she recovered.
I'm scared that my parents will think I'm lying or faking my depression for attention, but I swear I'm not. I've been feeling like this for a while and I have my own ways of coping with it. I cut, I know its bad so don't lecture me for it. I don't let anyone see my cuts or scars so I'm most definitely not doing it for attention, I'm actually embarrassed of my scars and wear long sleeves all the time. My little sister found out I cut and she treats it as a joke. She constantly pretends to be slitting her wrists with her fingers and threatens to tell people if i don't give her what she wants. I hate it and i wish she never found out.
I also have an eating disorder. I try to eat as little as possible and when i do eat, I feel so guilty and disgusting so I make myself throw up. I hate the way I look and i get made fun of for my appearance. My older and younger sisters are gorgeous and skinny, I just wanna be and look like them. I get called the "ugly sister" and I'm constantly questioned on why i can't look/act like them. Im also a level 10 gymnast and weight is a constant struggle for me. Due to my lack of eating, I've been extremely tired lately and i have zero energy for practice. My coach yells at me all the time and tells me i suck and that "I ruined the sport of gymnastics for him". Im sorry.
My parents fight all the time. They've been cheating on each other back and forth since i was in second grade. Actually, i found out in second grade, it was going on beforehand i just didn't know. My parents don't know that i know about them cheating. Only my older sister and I know, we try to keep it a secret from my little sister because we think it would be too much for her to handle. My dad used to be abusive when i was younger. He would never hit his kids, just my mom but I'm still terrified of him and he still yells at my mom all the time. He's an alcoholic and i can't remember the last time I've actually seen him sober. My parents aren't divorced, but they're close to it. My dad lives in NYC because of his job and he comes home only on weekends. You would think he'd be happy to see his family considering he only sees us on weekends, wrong. He's never home, he goes out golfing or to bars. It makes me feel worthless knowing my own father doesn't even wanna spend time with me. My mom calls him every night to tell him goodnight, but they always end up fighting and screaming at each other until the sun comes up. Nobody knows, but i sit up every night and listen to them fight and scream at each other and eventually cry myself to sleep. I'm not happy anymore. Im just so sad and its like reality finally set in: No one cares about me and I could die and no one would care.
I don't have many friends. Only this one girl, but she has no idea what I'm going through right now. I feel so alone all the time and I've recently started having suicidal thoughts. Im starting to think that no one would care if i was gone. Its not like i have any friends anyway and I'm failing school, so its not like it would matter if i was gone. I used to get made fun of, a lot actually and i can't take it anymore. I think I've given up and I'm scared because these suicidal thoughts have been coming more and more often (its on my mind constantly now) but i guess i kinda don't wanna die. I wanna tell somebody, but I'm scared they'll think I'm only doing this for attention, which I'm not. Ive been like this for almost a year now and nobody knows.
Please just give me some advice with this. I don't know what else to do.
Update:Its really stressful for me right now. Im a junior and recently started the IB program at my school. Theres so much work involved and I'm very stressed out. I usually don't get home until 8:00-8:30 and i have an average of 6-7 hours of homework a night. Its too much for me to handle right now and i want to drop out of the IB program, but my parents are so proud of me for doing it. They brag about it constantly to my other relatives and that just puts more pressure on me. My other classmates and I get made fun of for trying the IB program. We are called the "nerds" and the "try hards" and people don't really like us.
I have a very strong relationship with my mom and i used to have a strong one with my dad too. My relationship with my dad has weakened over the past year and i feel like we're strangers. My older sister is in college now and she's happy as can be and completely recovered. I have a semi-strong relationship with her. My younger sister
Comments
Dana... if you have that strong relationship with your mom, please talk to her. If you feel you can't, talk to a school counselor, or call a crisis hotline anonymously.
You need to talk to someone. As a level 10 gymnast, which means you are practicing at least 5 days per week, 4 hours per day and in the IB program, you have a lot of pressure on you. It doesn't mean you can't do it, but you know that you need to talk to someone or you wouldn't have posted this. Don't just think that "I wrote down my thoughts, so everything will be okay now". My daughter is 13, a level 9 gymnast and an honor student, so I know a lot of the pressures you are under... please, please... go talk to someone.
Tell your mothers and fathers your depress. Inform them why your depress. For those who dont recognize why you depress it probably considering you don't have anything to fear about and you get depress. All you need is some family round and buddies. Persons who help you and make you believe just right. Discontinue being at house and exit extra have fun with existence.It does sound kinda hard to tell your mum and dad however might be you just suppose alone and consider like no one cares. Your moms and dads do.
Dana- you are really going through a lot of emotional situations right now and gave us a lot of details on why you are depressed. i can think of 3 ways that might help you-
#1 --you need to ask your mom for help because you said you are scared of your dad.
it's important to wait until she is not busy( and hasn't had a really bad day) if you can talk when your sisters won't disturb the conversation it will help. maybe in her bedroom.sit down near her and be quiet and serious, the more adult like you seem the less likely she will see it as 'lying or faking my depression'. it will get her attention if you are quiet for a second and then say,'mom,i have something to tell you'. tell your story. i know it's hard but you have to take the first step .say that when you saw how much it helped your sister you wanted to go and things have gotten much worse for you.
#2 --can you remember how your sister got their attention?-not the attempted suicide please, but did they notice anything before? you can tell your mom you are getting depressed and having the same feelings as your sister did? you can tell her the pressure is getting too much and the effort to keep smiling and happy is getting too much.
#3 --tell your mom you aren't feeling very well (that's true right?), have her drive you to your family doc. go to the exam room by yourself. tell the doc what going on. show him the cuts as proof- truly,he won't be shocked or surprised- he has heard it all so vent all over him. ask him to talk to your mom in his office and tell her you need therapy. that way, it's an adult telling her you need to go. i hope i gave you some ideas that might help. good luck
i know its exactly what you are trying to avoid but maybe you should tell your parents how you feel about them fighting and tell them that your feeling depressed and i know your dreading it but eventually they will notice those cuts on your wrist and before something happens you my want to just come out and say whats going on.good luck
You should talk to a doctor right away