Frases engraçadas em Inglês?
Adoro "coleccionar" frases com humor em Inglês. Alguém tem frases que queira partilhar? Se tiverem, agradeço imenso
P.S: As minhas favoritas até agora são:
"Death is hereditary"
"Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them"
"Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference"
"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets"
"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come"
"Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking"
"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die"
"If you want breakfast in bed go sleep in the kitchen!"
"Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them"
"Don’t be afraid to be yourself! People, who care, don't matter. And people, who matter, don't care!"
Comments
And then he said, that deimos the dorgi - E ai ele falou: que deim as dorgas
Ex-boyfriend is the same dress: You see in the picture and does not believe he had the courage to go with it. - Ex-namorado é o mesmo vestido: você vê na imagem e não acreditar que ele teve a coragem de ir com ele
It is a better in hand than two in bra - É melhor 1 na mão do que 2 no sutiã
Eu conheço algumas, rsrsrs
"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer."
"We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."
"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong."
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"Fighting for peace is like ******** for virginity."
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research."
"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."
"A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it."
"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone"
“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"
“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory"
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
“Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.”
”Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a cat to bring him back to reality”
“Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.”
“Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.”
I could go forever!!!
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