some serious self esteem issues?
well, im a 14 year old teenage girl. i've had alot of self esteem and body issues in the past and been through an eating disorder. I feel confident when im with other people, but when im alone i beat myself up about the tiniest things and put them well out of proportion. Im so shallow, everything is about appearance to me. i just want to be the prettiest girl, i want to get the attention, i want everyone to like me the best 
i tend to go in and out of different characters, no matter where i am even just walking down the street ill try and re enact movie characters or just make up my own like 'the shy pretty girl' and sort of looking about me with my head down and then look up, or then ill be loud and boistress in bright clothes and walk with a spring and my step and try and be sexy. I just dont know whats wrong with me. I dont even know which one is actually me, probably becos i dont want to be me. Im terrified everyone will realise that im nothing, im not the person they're friends with and then hate me or if im good at something, that somehow im just faking or being lucky with it. Sometimes i just feeel that everyone already hates me anyway becos they know how two faced i am
I just dont know. identity chrisis.. please help.
Comments
Just do whatever makes you feel great. No one should judge you for that, if they do, make it apparent to them you don't care what they think.
Let me just start out by saying that even though you haven't figured yourself out and it seems pathetic that you re-enact scenes from movies, your brutal honesty is incredlibly amazing and admirable. Just the fact that you acknowledged your problem or that you even have one is a huge accomplishment all in itself. I think in order to be you, you have to know who you are. Figure that out first. As for the acting without cameras, believe it or not, I think a lot of people do that. I know that feeling. Just wanting to be watched. Wanting attention so bad that you daydream about scenerios in which you're the hero or focus. Everyone thinks this way. It's just one of those things no one ever talks about or admits. But you're not alone. Know that.
I'm not going to be one of those bull shizzers that lies "Honey, you're beautiful and everything will be okay." I don't know you or your life so I can't say that. But what will never fail you is your actions, unlike your appearance. There will always be someone that more beautiful than you, but there can never be someone that knows what you know and what you can do. Instead of looking amazing, but being fake, do something amazing and be real. If acting's your thing- act. If you're obsessed with appearance, go for make up and fashion. You might just amaze yourself and others...
Hi Hayley,
First of all, you're not two-faced. You're young and you are becoming aware of yourself. Just realize something, every young girl your age wants to be the prettiest girl and wants all of the attention and wants everyone to like them best, honestly, that's not what's truly important. You are at an important time in your life. Don't run away from who you are, define it. You may not realize it now but people are more comfortable around others who are confident with who they are. So, its really important to define yourself. For example, write things down, start with your likes and dislikes...realize who you are. Look at clothes, think about all different styles and eras of fashion, what intrigues you the most? Think about your school subjects, which ones do you like the most and which the least? But that doesn't mean you don't learn the ones you like the least, this just means you know your strengths and weaknesses. Think about what you like to do...read? write? poetry? drawing? coloring? cooking? and concentrate on being the best you can at the things you like the most.
There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you...when you're acting like movie characters, because these are behaviors that interest you, but I'd suggest that you'd always be alert to your surroundings. Walking any where with your head down may get you noticed by the wrong people. But, also, staring at people is a bad idea also, just make sure people know that you notice them and keep it moving.
You are somebody, if anyone calls you a NOTHING then its just a reflection of themselves, NOT YOU! Always realize that you are somebody and you can be whatever you want to be!
Just know that others your age are just as unsure about themselves as you are about yourself. So don't take their words as GOLD, ok?
who cares they are not living your life, nobody cares.