Is my mom paranoid?
I live about 3 hours from my parents. One of my parents' neighbors are super friendly. Yet, my mom continues to tell me how they never say "hello" to her but only to my dad.
When I visit my parents with my 2-year-old son, the neighbors constantly say "hello" to me and wave. Even their two young daughters say "hello" every chance they get. They're almost too friendly and my mom continues to say that they hate her. My mom even says the neighbors relative gave her a long hard glare once with his hands on his hips.
My mom is now fed up with them and is sure they hate her and wants to put up a fence, so she never sees the neighbors again.
Even when visiting my parents recently, the neighbors smiled our way when my mom and I were sitting outside. But my mom says they just smiled at me, not her.
Is my mom paranoid?
Update:She's almost made me depressed talking about negative things with people hating her and how much money everyone has.
Comments
i would say your mom has not been friendly toward them. has she ever waved or smiled there way? i would tell her to be the outgoing friendly one and see how the neighbors respond.
Hello please tell your son, it is a mothers right to be paranoid. And that not now, but some day he will appreciate it. My sons are 17,18 and I still worry and all the fun stuff that goes with being mom. Don't be to Paranoid though, that can backfire, just guide your son with your knowledge and let him now that you are there for him no matter what. Instill good judgement in him, and you will be amazed. They will mess up time to time and I guess that's the way we learn, just help guide him. Your doing great!! Tell him to be grateful, some kids parents don't care!! He should feel lucky, mine are starting to realize that.
My mom is kind of the same way, but I think it's because she's anti-social. She also accuses her neighbor of things I can't even fathom him doing and thinks people are talking about her. (Esp. if she hears laughing, she's convinced they're snickering about her) You know what, I call her on it... I don't buy into it and encourage her stories because they are absurd. You can nicely say, "Well gee Mom, they've been nothing but nice since I've known them." I don't have an explanation for you as to why she does it or if she is clinically "paranoid", but it could be a character flaw that I think goes way back to when she was younger. Maybe she feels like she's not getting any attention? Maybe she's just an old skool drama queen...either way, don't buy into paranoia.
My husband suffers from a similar problem - when he is not taking is anti-anxiety medication. If your Mom has this issue with lots of people then I would suspect an anxiety disorder. But, if the only person she has issue with is the one neighbor, then either she is dead on (could be), or she is suffering from a delusion. Bipolar? Hard to tell.... Without airing any dirty laundry, ask the neighbors how they get along with your Dad, then your Mom. Careful not to paint your Mom as a nut or that she dislikes them. Maybe say "Mom's insecure sometimes, my Dad gets along so easily with others..."
I don't think you'll change much unless Mom decides to make it happen.
Is she very depressed? Depression can make one paranoid and distort cognition as well. Also, depression isn't always about crying all the time. In fact, it quite often isn't.
Hate to bring this one up, and hope it doesn't apply, but it also could be a sign of Alzheimers or another neurological disorder. If it was me and depression wasn't the issue, I'd do what I could to take my mom to the doc and have a talk with the doc myself as well. Of course, this is all assuming the issue is as extreme as stated.
Yes. I wouldn't say she is paranoid - just prone to seeing her relationships with others as negative or to see herself as being rejected. She is so hung up on that that she can't see the good when it's in front of her face. People like her need OVERWHELMING evidence.
Try arranging a get-together with her and one of the so-called hateful neighbors and see if it changes her perspective.
Since you have never seen the way they treat her when you are not around, she may be telling the truth. You never know, she may have done something to make them angry without realizing it. I find it odd that you automatically assume she is the one with the problem and not the neighbors. She is your mother and needs her family to trust her and not use words like "paranoid" to describe her. That is disrespectful.
Well, paranoia usually goes a bit deeper and is more problematic in terms of it interfering with a person's life than just thinking her one neighbour doesn't like her. It has to be accompanied with some other delusions and fear like she thinks they are going to hurt her or they are spying and it's a conspiracy, etc.
Info on paranoia here:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Unders...
I would encourage her to go over sometime with a neighbourly gift of some baked goods or something and actually see and talk to them to see if her suspicions are true, or to negate them as the case may be.
I don't think she's paranoid. Paranoid is when you're thinking that someone's out to get you, that sort of thing. i think your mom is just overreacting. does SHE ever say hi to the supposedly hating neighbors? maybe if she did...? and does their neighborhood ever have one of those get-to-know-your-neighbors events? that would be a golden opportunity to get to the bottom of this and see if your mom may be right. but i highly doubt she's paranoid.
It sounds more like she's just insecure. If she were paranoid she would think the neighbors are plotting to kill her, steal her spouse, whatever.