Why do adoptive parents treat "birth" parents so disdainfully?
In general, of course. I have heard of this happening several times (in adoption reunions, not when baby-begging, of course) on here and in real life & wonder what exactly the problem is??
Did things not turn out exactly as planned with the purchased offspring? Did they try to scrub the little one free from whomever they came from and fail? Is that what the problem is?
Update:ETA @ Pip: Right on! I didn't see your answer until just after I had picked best on that one... You are so very right. I often ask similar questions in different sections bc many of the sections have regulars who are great, but I want a wider array of opinions/experiences. If my question is so offensive to Hip, then maybe she should search within herself to figure out why.
Comments
Not all adoptive parents are this way. Many are kind and profoundly grateful that they were chosen to adopt.
However, those who are hateful, my guess is there are two reasons:
1) They have a punitive attitude toward people who have sex outside of marriage.
and/or
2) They instinctively know that parting a mother from her baby is traumatic. They lessen any guilt they might feel for their part in it by demonizing and dehumanizing the mother.
EDIT TO ADD 3) The fact that there's another mother out there might make them feel insecure and competitive.
People who have no problem basically stealing someone's baby are probably not too concerned with the natural mother's feelings. Bad people are not all of a sudden going to switch gears and be the perfect open adoption couple. Are you shocked? They stole her baby. People who steal babies are not really concerned with other people's feelings. They are jerks. Do you think they care about the child knowing the natural mother?
They took her baby but, they send her great notes on engraved stationary. After the baby stealing, their manners were impeccable.
It is delusional to expect anything nice from people like that.
My kids came from foster care...if you had read page after page after page of abuse & neglect, police reports, drug busts, filthy pics of the kids & home...seen the scars on their bodies...you wouldn't much like their parents either.
They love the "birth" mother until she gives them the baby. Then she just becomes that immoral harlot who could not keep her legs closed etc. After they have used you, they do not want to even admit that you exist. They have this idea in their head that the child they bought is really and truly theres. Nothing could be further from the truth, as that is never truly their child because they do not share the same DNA and bloodlines. Like putting lipstick on a pig. So basically they get to play house for 18-21 years and thrive on their delusions of being a real family. We would not aid and abete the delusions of others in any other context.
Quite sad but predictable that an adopter is offended by you posting the same question in different areas.
That's the things expectant mothers are praised up for doing the mature, selfless loving option before they actually surrender. As soon as the deed is done the true feelings come out and they are quite happy to slag of those nasty icky birf parents. Yet dare those nasty icky birf parents give an opinion on adopters they are soon up in arms.
Why did you feel the need to post this question in two different sections? It's ridiculous and offensive in no matter which category you post.