a personal narrative essay, is this a good paragraph? feel free to add sentences!!!!?

i always felt that my mothers job was a curious one, not common but yet skillful. my fathers job was indeed a paying one. and because we were one of the families that had the most money per year. i felt sometimes disliked.

Comments

  • I agree with "D" and his comments. Also, start your sentences with capital letters! And mother's and father's is possessive, so add the apostrophe. And personally, I'd leave out the but and keep the yet. Why not tell us what it is she does. Same with your father. Try, "My father's job, (insert job title here), was indeed a (add the word "well") paying one. Good luck.

  • regardless of the reality you're a vegetarian and function a private theory that animals should not be killed unnecessarily, perhaps a diverse subject count with which you do have own journey might greater advantageous healthful you. Persuasive essays are for persuading people to work out issues your way, or do issues your way or have self assurance issues your way. What different than vegetarianism do you have own journey? workout?? An essay regarding the cognitive reward of time-honored workout, persuading people to advocates of workout. Or %. a diverse form of workout, like Tai Chi, convince that Tai Chi is efficient even though it relatively is practiced very slowly. you in all possibility ought to persuade somebody to eat broccoli or Tofu. pass narrow on your scope for the essay and you would be able to locate you have own journey that would artwork properly on your essay. convince people to have animal pets, (in case you have one). convince people to comb their enamel each and every morning and each night. convince somebody to apply your favourite cleansing soap or shampoo. Your subject count could be exciting, so choose for it.

  • 1st sentence: don't need "yet" i.e., "not common but skillful"

    2nd sentence: try: "my father's job was the main source of our family's income", more professional sounding.

    3rd sentence: don't start with "and"!!!!!!

    4th sentence: shouldnt be there, combine with 3rd sentence (just make that period a comma).

    pretty good, though!

Sign In or Register to comment.