Marriage; yes or no..................?
It is self-evident that the majority (or, if you prefer, A LOT) of marriages fail. Doubtlessly, it is mostly due to one or more of the partners lack of CORRECT effort.
However, regardless of that reason - rather, especially due to that reason - marriage is very demanding. Why would anyone choose a life like that? Loneliness? Why is loneliness a less evil than the other negative intense emotions that often occur (such as frustration, hatred or just ordinary dislike, constant deviation from your personal wishes in order to reach a compromise, etc.)?
No matter how you look at it, marriage requires a lot of effort all the time. Why is that the preference? Money? Sex? Those reasons appear to be less and less apparent the more independent we become (because many people get it anyway).
Maybe kids? Still, adoption appears a lot more appealing than biological kids if it includes all this other annoyance.
And if you want to say that all children should have a mother and a father figure, that's an issue that has better (meaning, less painful) solutions than marriage. Seriously, there are; and those alternative are obviously unconventional, but not as bad as all these failed marriages due to the never ending demand and maintainence that marriage requires.
Anyone have any responses that are not frosted with hate? If you're emotionally compromised due to my words, your judgment is universally accepted as inaddmisable.
Thank you for your time.
Comments
I want to marry my partner not only because I love him (I don't need marriage to prove that), but so that our relationship is formalized legally and we can be treated as spouses under civil law. It's just that simple.
Sunshine, your words have no power to compromise me, emotionally or otherwise. You sound rather sad, hiding your social insecurity behind a lot of very high-flown rationalizations.
About half of all marriages fail. Given how easy it is to get married, and how much money is spent glamorizing the whole wedding industry, it's no wonder there's so much failure. Most of the people under 30 getting married have no idea what they're getting into.
Yes, kids are a reason for marriage because -- if you've ever taken care of a child for even a couple of days, all by yourself -- it's exhausting. I don't know how single parents do it.
People marry because life is hard and it's easier if you find someone to help share the load. If your only experience of relationships has been that they are more work than benefit - TO YOU - then your decision to remain solitary is the right one - FOR YOU.
If one has a decent partner, and one is not excessively demanding, life is not a "constant deviation from your personal wishes." Presumably - if one has spent some time cohabiting before marriage -- which I think is the only sane way to go -- one has discovered whether one's partner has congenial tastes. For example - my wife and i both prefer the same color schemes and style of furnishings.
Accumulating money and having sex are not reasons for marriage, per se, but (again, if two people are operating with similar goals) it's easier to have both, and there's a bit of a safety net in an uncertain economy in case one partner becomes unemployed.
But the bottom line is -- marriage is a legal protection of a personal commitment. I do not think it's the best choice for everyone, and I think that couples ought to live together -- whether or not they sleep together -- before making that legal commitment.
But if two people ARE willing to make the commitment, it should be a right available to all citizens regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation. Because that sounds like what you're getting at, posting here in LGBT.... "Oh, it's not worth it, why do you want it?"
Y'see, if you don't want to be married, I think you should stay single. Your attitude toward partnership is sour and selfish; maybe you've had bad experiences that created that belief. A bad marriage can do that, and it took me 20 years to decide to try again.
I'm curious: why did you ask this question? You aren't going to convince happily married couples that they are miserable just because you don't see the point of marriage, and nobody is ASKING you to get married. It's your life, your choice.
and your sour grapes, I think....
Marriage. It's the best way to stay together and most successful if you do it right. But if you marry someone who isn't in agreement with your religion it most likely won't hold. Esp. If you have children, you'd want them to go your way and he/she the other. Most failed marriages are because they married for money, sex or they were unequally yoked. If its for love go for it.
Other wise I'd stay single if I were you. Adoption is okay, whether you are married or not, to help a child is a good thing. It would be easier with a husband or wife but it's not impossible.
People who get married, do so because they love the person they're with so much that they can't imagine their life without that person, and they'd be much happier living their life with the person their with, and taking on all of those life challenges together.
You're right that it requires effort, people who want to get married need to realize this before doing so. The effort and challenges it has is well worth it though.
EDIT: Do you know you put this in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual section?
I support gay marriage (Duh, of course) but I'm curious to see if many people know about founding a corporation? If you found a corporation you both can share all your assets, you'd be partners (on the board) and if you ever split up the corporation each of you legally take half of the corporations (household) holdings (property). Not only that but technically you can have a kind of multi-marrage arrangement legally since your corporation can have multiple "board" members or "partners". Just a loophole I found in that arrangement. Its not called marriage but both partners share everything just like a marriage.
YES XD