CONTINUED FROM How do you change a sexless marriage?
Yes I lost all of my pregnancy weight!
Yes I take great care of my body... I eat right and work out!
I have tried things like touching him etc.... He says we don't have any time! God Forbid sex cuts into our watching tv time!
We still do things together... We go to dinner...We go to sporting events... We still get along like we used to... BUT sexually we aren't there!
I guess he is not in to me anymore! He hasn't told me I look beautiful (or even nice) in atleast 16 months!
I do not think he is cheating because he doesn't go anywhere. He goes to work then he comes home!
I don't think he'll do counciling... I can't get him to chuch with me once a week... I don't know how I'll get him to counciling.
He feels sex is very personal. He would faint if he even knew I was asking for advice!
Comments
I have a question for you, Is this your first child? The reason I touch on this is that sometimes men can have a difficult time seperating you from being the mom to being his lover. Its a phsychological mind game really, but it can be real and it can interfere with his ability to still see you as his lover. If he wont go to counseling then I would suggest you go on your own, as a conselor may be able to help you get to the root of the problem discretly and he/she may be able to give you advice on how to work at correcting it.
If this is not the first child then I would look into having him visit the Dr for a checkup as one other person said but discretly let the Dr know whats happening and what your concerns are.
Another thing is ask yourself
How are the finances? Men who are worried about money sometimes can't get intimate due to the stress
How is his work atmosphere? Is he more stressed thn usual, has he had a change in status at work, a new co-worker that is a pain, longer hours etc?
All these things can affect anyones sex drive and interest level
I wish you much luck, keep your chin up!
How about him? Is he ahppy about his weight, comfortable with himselve, workout? I would think that men could have the same insecurity issues that women have about their bodies. Also, if he is overweight he may not have the energy and he may not feel sexy. The only reason he can give you for not having sex is that you don't have enough time? Make time, if you have kids get a sitter, make sure other things are done around the house, make a romantic dinner, try on some new sexy underware...whatever it takes...it's worth a try, right?
Ok...... Fist thing is don’t be shy try something new and if that doesn’t work tell him plain as day look I have needs I want to have sex I want to be felt like I'm needed. And if nothing happens……… hey there are always toys but that can never take the place of the real thing. You really might want to sit down and ask him if you guys lost the spark ask him what he would like you to do…. spicing things up a little. I hope this helped you.
Sorry about your trouble. I heard the more they get, the more they want. So once you can get him back into routine he will want more.
I have a maid outfit I bought as sex store that seems to work when my guy is slipping on the attention. I out it on andf just go about my normal things until he see me, hehehe, he reall likes it. I wear long sheer stockings with it. But different guys like different things right? Just tap into a fantasy as a surprise, you will get his reaction.
Or better yet, accidently cut the cable outside and blame it on vandals, that should give you a day or two of no tv.
Been there, done that. It's possible that there is something medically wrong with him. Try to tell him it's time for a regular, run of the mill check up with the family doctor. Call ahead and leave a message for the doctor that this is a problem and he can work it into the visit. As for me, there was more to it, but I finally had to get out.
I read the advises of other people for you and all make sense but I think that you are describing a conditions known as Inhibited sexual desire (ISD). The person with ISD fails to initiate or respond to their partner's desire for sexual activity.
ISD is a very common sexual disorder. The most common cause of ISD seems to be relationship problems wherein one partner does not feel emotionally intimate or close to their mate.
Communication problems, health problems such as depression, insomnia, excessive stress.
Treatment is required by the professional therapist and it depends on the eliminating causes listed above. If you can not get him to counseling try to borough book about the ISD and leave them on the table so he can peak into. Disorders of sexual desire are often among the more difficult sexual problems to treat, and seem to be especially more challenging to treat in men. Consequently, referral should be sought to a specialist in sex and marital therapy.
Prevention maybe still is not to late.
Reserve time for nonsexual intimacy with one's partner. Couples, who reserve weekly talk time and time for a weekly date alone without the kids, will maintain a closer relationship and are more likely to feel sexual interest.
Detach sex and affection, so that neither person is afraid to be affectionate on a daily basis, fearing that it will be interpreted as an invitation to proceed to intercourse.
Reading books or taking courses in couple communication, or reading books about massage may also encourage feelings of closeness. For some individuals, reading novels or viewing movies with romantic or sexual content may also serve to encourage sexual desire.
Regularly reserving "prime time," before exhaustion sets in, for both talking and sexual intimacy may encourage closeness and sexual desire. For too many couples, sex gets what is left over late at night.
Unfortunately, he might not have any desire to do it for some reason. Hormones control our desire for sex so it could be something hormonal. where he's just no interested in sex as you are and is afraid or maybe even embarassed to seek help. Some guys have that Macho pride where they would rather more or less suffer in silence than go get whatever issue they are having checked out.
It's tough when kids are involved. Try to set up a date night with him. Take the kids to grandma's house (or someone else that you trust) and have them spend the night. Put on your sexiest outfit and take him out to a favourite restaurant. Go dancing. Get a hotel room. When you get back to the room, take a bath together and sip champagne / wine. Tell him you love him.
Oh, and leave the kids out of the conversation.
well, ur relationship sounds great, but every relationship has its downfalls, erm ok then, i'd suggest just try making lots of romantic gestures, and if this doesnt work you could try givin him the silent treament then hopefully he'll see what he's missing out on and pull his act together. hope it all works out!
hey i jus 4t of sumfin else worth a try, try giving him foods which give you a higher sex drive, i think chocolate is one(cuz it puts u in a good mood) and some fruits.
If you have TV in your bedroom get it out. The TV in the bedroom at my place went out a couple of days ago and all the sudden we are having family time in the family room. I don't plan to fix the TV in the bedroom any time soon.