Why can't my marriage continue?
Ok hear me out. My wife and I have been together for 14 years 7 of them married. 4 kids (11,7,4,and2). We have had our share of ups and downs throughout the years. I had an affair that my wife found out about a year ago. the affair lasted bout 2 years before it ended. My wife and I were working through the problems. Then my wife left. After a month of her being gone she told me she needed time and space to think about our marriage. the kids were left with me and it was very hard for them my wife went to go stay with a friend she works with. well after a month i get a call that from my wife saying she had gotten into a fight with a guy she was kinda talking to. that hurt but ok considering what i had done. i found out that the guy was a friend of mine. he beat my wife up and my wife didnt want to press charges. but she was going to call the cops on me for showing up to see about her. mind you this guy is a loser. no job no car no place to live 40 yrs old 5 kids 4 different mothers. so my wife decides to work on the marriage she didnt come back home but we talked every day but she didnt like it. she wanted to go to marriage counseling so did i. well i find out my wife was still in touch with my so called friend and she got very uspet when i found out then told me she didnt want to be with me anymore. yahoo people i have been trying to fight for my marriage for 3 months now and my wife wont budge my kids are getting ready to start school and i'm at a loss. i love my wife very much but she doesn't love me enough to be with me. she says she cant get over the affair but i think it's the guy. its crazy because when i call she doesnt answer all the time when i text she doesn't text back but when she gets down on her luck i'm there for her trying to show her that life can be better than it is. she wants to live separate lives splitting the kids up. i can't do that. my kids are innocent in this. i need some help or guidance. oh and by the way i found out she has a facebook and she has put she's single on there. even more hurt. in all honest i would love to have my wife and my family back. but now i don't know.
Comments
So you now know some of the hurt your wife felt when she found out about your 2 year affair....you made your bed, now it doesn't suit and you are facing life without her...maybe it is too late and the hurt and feeling of loss is too much for her to sort things out with you again, what you did and what she found out has changed her behaviour and she sounds like she has lost her trust in you, without trust in a marriage there is little to work on.........what is done is done and you really can't change it however much you now want to and realise what you have lost........you can't change her behaviour you only have control over your own behaviour and actions, so my advice is be the best parent you can be, be the adult and try to work out what is best for your joint children...like it or not your marriage now is secondary you can only hope that she sees that you are trying to be responsible, you don't put pressure on her and hopefully she will give your marriage another chance...if she does then work on it and treat it as precious, don't take it for granted
Wow, that's a lot to take in. First, it appears you need help with the kids. I would bring a mother, sister, aunt, someone who isn't working during the day in order to be there for the kids during the school week, assuming you work during the day.
Then, once I would secure my kids daily routine of for the upcoming school year...Start divorce proceedings Buddy and fight for the kids...(don't think it will be much of a fight). Surely you are the most stable parent. I think it's time to consider this thing you had called, "marriage"...a done deal! It's over, move on, say, bye-bye!!! It would appear that the work for "Damage Control" will no longer be effective.
Sorry, I think it's time for you to come to grips with reality. You don't sound all bad...you just did a bad thing; learn from it next time. I know you're going to be a great dad. Keep your kids together and get child support from the mom. You'll be fine...time is the greatest healer...and prayer!
Good luck and God Bless you and your children.
You wish to take a look at to give an explanation for those scriptures- Ephesians one million:10-thirteen one million Corinthians eleven:eleven Mark 10:two-nine Matthew sixteen:19 Ecclesiastes three:14 So in reaction in particular to Matthew 22:29-30 Look at Jesus' reaction in context. He's answering a query approximately marriage and the resurrection posited via a organization that does not even consider in a resurrection — The Sadducees. When ultra-modern critics invoke this reference they dedicate the identical blunders that the Sadducees fell into once they requested Jesus, and chided them that they "do err, no longer realizing the scriptures, nor the energy of God." Here's why it does not disprove everlasting marriage. First, the Sadducees are inadvertently acknowledging everlasting marriage via asking "who is spouse will she be within the resurrection?" This means that there was once a already a instructing on the time related to couples residing as husband and spouse within the resurrection. Second, after Jesus tells them they do not appreciate, He explains that once the resurrection nobody will marry, nor take delivery of in marriage. In different phrases, guys may not get married, and ladies may not take delivery of in marriage. What Jesus stated is obviously precise. There will probably be no marriages played in Heaven and nobody will probably be getting married both. HOWEVER!! He does no longer say that men and women married and sealed earlier than the resurrection may not are living as husband and spouse. He simply stated they may not be getting married. He stated not anything approximately them being married already. Eternal marriage is a priesthood ordinance that ought to be played on Earth. After the resurrection, folks who weren't sealed via the priesthood will grow to be angels below God in some of the reduce glories or kingdoms, (both the Terrestrial or Telestial). So I am no longer even citing the difference the language or the misinterpretation of the various translations of the bible. However, I uncover it ridiculous that you simply might pick to disregard a inaccurate translation simply to preserve on your factor. This is what I name a determined try to preserve to a doctrine. It's known as lack of expertise. And making a decision to carry up context. As I stated in my rationalization, be certain you realize the context earlier than you argue it.
Time to give up on this marriage. It's dead. Hang on to the kids. Stop calling and emailing her. Ease up and let her live her life. Stop trying to rescue her. She does not want to come back to the marriage. Get the kids in school and settled. Set a good long precedent for the children being with you. Be cool. File for divorce after the kids are established in school.
You suck. You had a 2 year long affair and you think you have the right to question you wife's actions? I don't think you understand the pain you have put this woman through. She is suffering really badly and is doing whatever it is she can to hold herself together. I think you should stop complaining and get your life back on track with her. Do whatever it is you need to do, beg, cry, plead, counseling, cook, wine, dine, whatever. Make this up to her for the sake of your kids and for your marriage. tell her what a low life piece of junk you are and that you will do anything it takes to earn her trust once again. Either do that, or lose it all. Oh and lastly, I don't know what religion you are, but this sounds like you can benefit to seek your pastor and maybe try church or Christian counseling with her.
Don't even dream of getting back with her! This relationship was iffy from the start and you both knew it. That's why you put off marriage for 7 years! Quit settling and feeling like you have to! There's a reason why you cheated to begin with. Both of you should move on. Keep the kids since they need you and it sounds like you're more stable than their mother.
You wife is playing games with you. You need to divorce her and ask for child support and move on.