adult birthday party--who pays?
A friend wanted to have a birthday party in a pretty high end restaurant and told the guests it would cost about $55/person for dinner (it would undoubtedly have come to more after wine, etc.). I though it tacky to invite guests and ask them to pay their share, especially for so much money, but my friend thought she was simply saying "I'd love you to join me to celebrate with me at x restaurant" (she could not afford to foot the bill and knew that at least from time to time her invited guests did eat at a restaurant at that price level). She later changed it to be at a more modest place, but to me the principle is the same: I think it's tacky to have a celebration and ask people to pay their share (she was not asking us to pay for her dinner). When we talked about it she said I was being rigid and judgmental, and I do think I should have kept my mouth shut and just gone along graciously, but that horse is out of the barn now.
Your thoughts about the principle of asking guests to pay?
Comments
♥ Mmm... personally I wouldnt invite people to a party and then have them pay. Thats like saying "If you have $60 then you can come celebrate with me at my party, otherwise your outta luck sorry." And thats plain rude... Try getting a small private room & make sure the restuarant has buffett style so that its cheaper... we did this for my sister in laws baby shower just last weekend and it cut down on the price alot. Good Luck!
Since when does asking people to go out to dinner means that you are paying for them? You're not going on a date, just asking people to join you. We always go out to dinner to celebrate all my friends birthdays and we pay our share and split the bill of the birthday girl/boy. If the birthday boy/girl wants to go somewhere fancy that I can't afford, I decline the invitation, simple as that. Sometimes I would really like to go but can't because of my work schedule. For a milestone b-day that person would most likely host a party at home, but b-days come every year and having dinner at a restaurant is a nice way to celebrate without anyone having to go through too much trouble.
If you have planned for a birthday party package the admission will be included. If you are just going there then you should at least pay for one adult and the one child you invited (include that in the invitation and then they will pay for any other kids they bring). Parent's don't want to have to pay to go to a party, they're already going to spend at least $20 (most likely more) to buy your daughter a gift. If you don't pay for their admission there probably won't be as many people coming and/or they won't bring gifts (or as nice of a gift). I would personally pay for their admission. Did you contact the place and see if they have a party package?
Tacky, tacky, tacky. If she wants them to share in her birthday celebration at this particular restaurant SHE should foot the bill. What if her friends have something planned already? Its only appropriate if someone other than the honored guest is planning the event or the friends who mutually agree to each contribute a set amount that would cover the cost for their meal and the meal of the honoree. No you shouldn't have kept your mouth shut, right is right
Well, I guess I wouldn't really throw myself my own birthday dinner in the first place. Since she was throwing herself her own get together, she should have done something she could afford - maybe just something at home and have everyone come there. She would have been better off just trying to organize a night out with a bunch of friends and not bring the birthday thing into it. Because now, not only do people have to pay for their meal, but will feel obligated to get a present as well. To me you reach a certain age and birthdays shouldn't be such a big deal. The "milestone" ones should be thrown for you by friends or family if it's a big deal.
Very tacky.....If you want to plan your own b'day party, don't expect guests to pay. If you just want to get together for dinner for your b'day, that would have been different. I would have been "rigid and judgemental" too. Your friend doesn't, or maybe does, the night would cost each person about $125 after dinner, and a gift. A little pricey to expect!! A good friend would have definately "let the horse out of the barn" and told her she was expecting too much. Good for you.
This is fine: "hey, a bunch of people are getting together on my birthday, do you want to join us? It's going to cost at least $55 a person". It's a group getting together on someones birthday. If you were invited to a party at a restaurant, you should not be expected to pay. Either way, a gift would be optional.
Every time I've gone out with friends on someone's birthday, the birthday boy/girl never pays a dime. We either split it between all of us or someone just takes their bill and pays for it.
If you ask someone to join you on your b-day, then you mention nothing of paying for them. That is kinda rude in assuming that the b-day person will pay for everyone, in my opinion. It is their day to shine and they should be treated. Now if they say "my treat" and they cant or dont follow through, then they are being very rude. But other than that, everyone should expect to pay for their own. It's only fair.
I go by the rule that I always carry enough money to pay for myself, should i have to. If I cant afford it, I say call me when you get out or maybe next time. But I always assume that I am paying for myself (and any date that I may bring).
When me and my friends celebrate birthdays, we take the birthday girl out for dinner and each pitch in money to pay for the birthday girl's dinner. Anyone who is new to the group who doesn't know the birthday person only needs to pay for themselves.
It is a polite way of doing it...if she wants a birthday dinner she should go somewhere a bit cheaper...$55 a person is a bit ridiculous...especially if you have to pay for HERS and yours too.
i don't ask guests to pay, it's rude. if i'm hosting a party, i should host one that i can afford. if my friends want to take me out for my bday, they can pay.
i went to a bday party a few weeks ago, and when the bill came, we were told then we are expected to pay our share. RUDE