Does this poem express any feelings?
Hey. I wrote this poem based on some personal experiences and what I'm feeling at the moment. I want to know whether it invokes any feelings or emotions in whoever reads it.
Alone in the sea of dreadful sorrows
Scared and confused of all that follows
Soul reaching for someone to hold to
Heart longing for someone to talk to
Cold and deprived of a loving touch
Nothing but bottomless hopes to clutch
Abandoned by life when most in need
Left alone in the darkness to bleed
Looking for help but none was found
All my cries were in the darkness drowned
P.S I still haven't finished it.
Comments
yes primarily feeling of being alone, in a negative sense
I suggest in line one change "in" to "on"
I'd find another way to say "scared"
In line 3 I'd drop "Soul"
In line 4 I'd drop "heart"
In line 5 I'd drop "cold and"
In line 6, though it relates to Sea I would have found another way to express it and dropped "Nothing but bottomless"
Feel free to disregard my suggestions.
YES