how do orthodox jews date?

How do orthodox jews date if they can't touch the opposite gender?

Comments

  • Modern Orthodox Jews tend to date like others, go to movies, restaurants etc they just don't touch each other. This generally means that dating periods are shorter before a decision whether to get married or not is made.

    In stricter Orthodox groups there is generally arranged meetings done by parents, Rabbis a shadchan (professional matchmaker) through friends etc.

    The potential partners meet privately to get to know each other (but either in a public place like a restaurant where others are or in a room where others have access so it is considered a place where there is no true privacy. The two should talk, get to know each other and then make a decision. A minimum of three meetings take place, more if the two need extra time to make a decision. And it is always there decision, no one can force them to marry, they have to choose for themselves if they wish to marry each other. It cannot be forced as their is no marriage without consent of both the man and woman

  • I am an Orthodox Jew, not a Chassid...and we use a shadchan. They know our families and know our likes and dislikes, our values, what we view as important, etc etc. They try to match young men and women with each other. You get to know the person and either the male or the female can say no. We actually have a higher rate of successful marriages than non"arranged" marriages.

    Why does dating have to involve touching? The things that are important are a person's values, morals, thoughts, ideas, plans for the future...etc etc. This is done by talking and getting to know a person. I don't see how holding hands or sticking my tongue down her throat is going to be helpful in finding out if we are compatible.

  • If you see the goal in having a wife is to have a best friend and partner in life, then too much physical contact can get in the way of honest relationship building.

    Modern and "centrist" Orthodox Jews date by going to places and doing things together -- to develop a strong friendship with the potential spouse.

    "ultra-Orthodox" aproach the matter in a bit more of a "businesslike" way -- first they vet potential mates by expolring family history and interests and the like,

    then they get together to eat and talk maybe three or four times -- focusing on life goals and the like.

  • They date through match maker. Traditionally, they meet for 3 meetings and if everything going well they get married. But most jews are not that tradition so they simply go to match maker, and start seeing each other. Then when they feel its the time - get married.

    On the wedding it self it is the first time that they are touching each other.

  • Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match....

    Dating is not done all that much.

  • They don't touch until they're married. They don't 'date'.

  • They come together by TRA-DI-TIOOOON, TRA-DI-TION!

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