What do you do if your family is narcissistic?
I'm the youngest son in my family and I often feel insecure or out of place in my family. I think I'm what people call the black sheep of the family because I'm the one who stands out the most. But when I was younger, I used to think my family was most important but this was mostly because I didn't have many friends when I was growing up. But now that I'm older and I have more friends, I now have a different perspective on my family. Like my family love playing and watching sports and I hate sports. Or my family like to joke around but when they make fun of me and I get annoyed by them, they then start calling me touchy and they say I can't take a joke and this really frustrates me. Or I'm the only teetotaler and my family like to drink. I mean sometimes I don't even like being around my family.
People often say family are always there for you, but I never really felt that way about my family because they can be pretty narcissist. Like if I go to them if I have a problem with someone or something, they don't seem to understand, they just yell at me and tell me that I'm the one with the problem and I'm just being immature and that doesn't help me at all. Like I got bullied a lot in school and my family were very unsupportive about it because they kept lecturing me how it was my fault because I can't take a joke and they'd often took the bullies' side and they showed no sympathy for me.
Because of this, I'd much rather be with my friends from college or my acting school because I feel happier around them and I feel like I can be myself around them. Plus I have more in common with them and they seem to understand me better and they're sometimes nicer to me than my family are.
For example, when I told them about how I used to be bullied, they were more sympathetic and understanding, like they'd say something like "That's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you." I mean my family never said anything like that to me.
But I still don't know what to do about my obnoxious family because I still feel angry at them for all the times they weren't there for me. I mean even if I told them about it, they probably wouldn't understand because they'd just deny that they caused me so much hurt and that it's all in the past and they'd just use me as their scapegoat. I mean my family can be so arrogant sometimes and they hardly apologize or say they're sorry.
Comments
You're at an age of rebellion, it's normal to resent your parents and family, and to look to your peers for support.
When you are many years older, your feelings about family will change. When you begin to deal with your own teenage children, you will understand. When your children fight each other, you will understand.
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Whether children are living with one or with two parents, many feel alienated from their parents at the very times they need them most. A study that followed 7,000 teens over a period of years found that most of the adolescents considered their parents to be loving and accepting. Even so, “only a third said that they receive special attention and help when they have a problem.” It also found that “for most adolescents, problem situations are seen as the times when parents are least likely to intervene and offer assistance.”
The Bible offers constructive counsel on how youths can improve their lives. Jehovah God, the Author of the Bible, keenly desires to teach young ones how to cope with challenges. (Proverbs 2:1-6) He wants them to have a good life. His Word can give “to the inexperienced ones shrewdness, to a young man knowledge and thinking ability.” (Proverbs 1:4) Consider how Bible principles can help.