why do parents always play favoritism?

I'm tired of my mom. When my brother was 15 he could have girls in his room and everything. He has gotten good grades all of his life but he is immature, he is rude, and a butt head. I get good grades but im behind on my work. I'm ussually very mature. Today I ask her if I can have boys in my room with the door open since im 15. She told me no since I was behind on my work. She said that she wants me to be put on birth control pills, I have to pay for my court costs [200 dollars], I have to keep my room clean, and if the house isn't clean, no one should come over. That's not right since she didn't have them restrictions on my brother. I understand about cleaning my room! Why do parents always play favoritism?

Comments

  • Unfortunately, girls seem to have more restrictions from their parents. I know that's how it was in my house. It's not favortism, she's just extra protective of you. With your brother, she just has to worry about one penis. With you, she has to worry about everyone else's penis.

  • I know exactly how you feel. I went through this with my parents as well. Years later I realized my parents knew I could handle things and my siblings could not. This probably goes back to things that happened before you were born or at least before you can remember and it is not likely that anyone is going to discuss it anytime soon. It sounds like you have your stuff together and you are going to be able to make something of yourself. Don't let yourself get bitter about this. One day you will be the one with a home that's paid for and either having your own business or a really good job. And your brother will still be looking for someone to take care of him. While your situation is certainly unfair eventually you will be able to make the best of this. For now look for the things that make you feel good about yourself - even the small things. Every time you complete a job well done you have brought yourself up just a little higher - something your brother isn't doing. It will pay off. Have faith - you are the better man for this.

  • It's not necessarily favoritism. Parents usually treat boys and girls differently. Society treats boys and girls differently as well. It's nothing new. It probably won't ever change.

    Your mother maybe treating you differently to protect you and your reputation. By not allowing you to have boys in your room things can't happen between you and boys. Then boys won't talk about you and you won't get a bad reputation. By putting you on birth control pills you won't get pregnant. You're brother's reputation won't get ruined by having a girl in his room. He also won't get pregnant and won't necessarily have to deal with preganancy even if he gets a girl pregnant.

    As for keeping the room and house clean, I don't know. Guys don't care about how clean a house/room is, girls do. My mom was weird about that too. She was afraid that my friends would go home and tell their mothers how messy my room or house was.

  • Your mom may not be playing favoritism. If you were in legal trouble you should have to pay for your court costs, why should she have to pay for them when she did not commit the crime. If you are in trouble with the law you may not be showing good decision making skills and therefore she may be right to make different rules for differet kids. My 12 year old son is more responsible than my 14 year old daughter right now and so they have different privleges. At this point my 9 year old daughter is allowed to have more freedom than her 14 year old sister. And if you are making bad decisions she may be right to put you on birth control as a precaution. Now as far as the chores go they should be split equally between all the kids old enough to do chores, but at my house if one of the kids gets into trouble they do get extra chores to do as part of their punishment. Talk to your mom, she wants to trust you and she wants to be your friend as well as your mom I am sure, but you have to give her reason to trust you.

  • They don't always. What court costs do you have? If you are in trouble withthe law it makes sense they'd be worried. You seem depressed. Why not talk to a school councellor, or better yet, confront your parents with your concern. You'll never know the answer unless you talk with them. Good luck!

  • that doesn't sound like date so i guess you can... but if it had to do with sex, no. You're still young for that, plus having sex before getting married with your hasband is a bad idea... It's not even religiousy accepted... just warning you! And I'm sorry about your brother story though... Maybe you could talk to your parents and tell them how you feel about it, it sounds they'd given him much freedom than a 15 year old child should have.

    Good luck!

  • she really aint playing the favortism game she just aint ready for you to give her grandchildren . as for the house cleaning it should be done by both kids.

  • Maybe because your a girl and you have more to lose if you get pregnant.

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