Depressed by humanology, (complicated)?

I was obsessed with educating myself and created databases as a hobby, but this led me to a complete understanding of my humanity, and to the realization that I'm not what we think I am.

The human conscious is the awareness of thought, touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight. The psychology is a collection of memories that are accessed randomly and generate are mental images and thoughts, as well as determine our moods.

To summarize, there's no such thing as meaningful existence or free will. Organisms will continue to reproduce as they are programmed to do. The only difference between an organism and a molecule is that the body of matter it's comprised of is programmed with molecules to give it memorized functions.

If you were able to properly interpret all of that, then you'll know that a personality is actually just memories that were acquired through random events, and everything you do is random, but your brain is able to understand what is being done, that is conscious, and together they become the illusion of self choice. Just to clarify.

In order to maintain our values we must be ignorant of truth. We need to remain fooled by our brains in order to continue meaninglessly existing.

The only way for me to not know these things would be to erase my memories. This problem is not due to emotional trauma, it's not treatable with ideals or suppressants.

This problem is not easily understood, especially if you're not very scientifically educated. If anyone answers, be logical.