Do I have Paranoid Schizophrenia?
Okay so all my life (I'm 14 years old) I've always believed that something was wrong with me. Last night I scared myself looking up different mental disorders. I knew I was paranoid so I started looking up anything that has to deal with paranoia. I knew I had must have had more than just Paranoia so I kept looking. That's when I came up with Paranoid Schizophrenia. The most common symptoms of the disorder are...
Auditory hallucinations- Sometimes I do feel like I hear things like little whispers, if I ever do hear anything weird it's usually at night. Or during the day I feel sometimes as if I hear buzzing noises like as if hundreds of bugs were all close by but there never are.
Delusions- I usually see things such as 'shadow people' or just random shadow like figures that aren't actually there. Which I see during the night mostly but also during the day time. It is rather stressful and scary sometimes.
Anxiety- Often I have the feeling something bad is going to happen. Like for instance, I'm going back to my fathers house (since my parents are divorced and I'm on visitation with my mother) on the 24th and for some reason I feel like the plane is going to crash, I have sudden fear that it will and it creeps me out a lot.
Anger- Well anger yes, because I'm human and everybody gets angry right? I don't think that's one of my symptoms, especially since I'm a girl and mood swings are a normal thing.
Aloofness- I've always had interest in doing things, but usually I feel strange doing things with people I don't know well, but I also think that could be shyness. Though when I'm with my family I feel detached as if I don't fit in. I'm very odd compared to the rest of my family, the rest of them are just so happy and popular, but... I'm just me... I only have a few really good friends and a lot of people hate me for no good reason.
Violence- Lately I have been more violent, I don't know why though. Usually I can handal problems with ease but now I seem even more violent than normal and it's really distressful.
Verbal confrontations- I'm usually picked on so having verbal confrontations every once in a while is normal right? Well lately I've had more and more of that, though usually because of my parents.
Patronizing manner- not so much this one actually.
Suicidal thoughts and behavior- I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a little kid (about 9). I've always had thoughts that no one really cared about me, that others were only out to get me, so what would be the point in living. I've tried to commit suicide twice, never succeeded of course, but both times I was confronted by my own mind, and really starting to think about the cons. of commiting suicide. I am also a self injurer, but I haven't actually done that in a few months.
So, do I have paranoid schizophrenia? Or do I have another mental condition maybe? I just need options to consider since I can't actually see a psychologist or a therapist until I'm back with my father. What do you guys think?
Comments
no, you may have some precursors. according to the DSM4 you can be diagnosed with the disorder until your frontal lobe is fully developed. Or after adulthood. You should see a psychologist ( they have one in school) There are so many disorders that are misunderstood and unknown. Talk to them they can help you!
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Although I can't possibly know for sure, it sounds to me as if you are a troubled kid with a VERY active imagination. I do not for one second think you are a paranoid schizophrenic. I do think, however, that you really do need to talk to someone. Many children of divorce are troubled, but that doesn't make you sick or crazy.
Try USING your imagination. If creative writing appeals to you, write about what you see and think. Or just keep a journal. Who knows? Maybe this is how Stephen Spielberg got started!
Good luck.
If you want diagnosis then go to doctor to be sure. But to think sometimes about something stupid it's normal, but to do so it's not..
Control yourself and get positive thoughts.
you may have it. you should go see a psychiatrist.