6 years, no proposal?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six years. The question of marriage has come up many times throughout our relationship. Many years ago he told me that he wanted to marry me. Of course I said me too. Now that its' been almost six years I'm beginning to question why he hasn't asked or we don't even discuss this situation. He told me once lets get married, I was so excited, I told everyone. One day he said "I never said, lets get married". That broke my heart. I asked him why and he said that he wasn't ready. I asked how he wasn't ready being we've been together for six years what exactly was he waiting for. Then I come to find out that my cousin gave him my grandmothers wedding and engagement set. So I got really excited about that and waiting for a long time for him to pop the question. Months went by and still nothing, eventually I got worried about him losing the ring, so I asked him if he would please put it somewhere safe. I told him my jewelry box seemed safe enough. I thought he would safe I know a safer place, your finger. But he picked it up and put it in the box. Now I'm at a cross roads, I want to question what is going on, but I don't want to be accusing. Six years is a very long time. We've never broken up once. We live together, share the money, we had a baby six months ago but she passed away, I have a child of my own, from a previous relationship. My son is 6 and my boyfriend has been the only father he has ever known. He doesn't call him dad, but he wants to. My son started using the word dad lightly, which seems to be fine with the bf. I hate that I have to call him my boyfriend, it just sounds like were a teenage couple dating. Except we're far from teenagers, I am 25 and he is 27. It's coming to a point where people are just calling his husband and wife. I just don't know what to say or do about this. Marriage is something I've always wanted, we have been together for a very long time, and I have friends and family members who dated a lot less and are either getting married or already married. I really need some advise. Please someone tell me what to do.
Thank you 
We only have one child. I had one six months ago but she passed away at birth.
Comments
Judging by your other questions, I'd say he's afraid of being tied down legally to someone who seems a little unbalanced.
You involved yourself in "married life" without being married. I'm 25 too and I've been with my boyfriend for about 5.5 years. We do not live together and we have no children together. I'm not trying to be negative or mean, so don't take it that way. I have nothing against having kids outside of marriage, it happens to the best and my best friend is actually a single mom. So, I'm not spreading negativity.
But, I'm going to be blunt. You're a wife, without a ring or a piece of paper. You live together and probably assume the role of a wife. You had a baby together. So, you're a family unit. You assume the role of a mother and he assumes the role of a father. You share the financial responsibility, just like a married couple.
If I didn't know you or know anything about your situation, I'd assume you were married if I saw you out together in public. He has no reason to go out of his way to 1) impress you with an engagement ring 2) romance you with a proposal 3) get excited about starting a new life together (you already have a life together) 3) starting a family with you (your already have kids)
So, why would he feel the overwhelming need to marry you and do the right thing? Guys marry women they can't live without. They propose to show they're serious about their future. They meet their brides at the aisle, because they see a whole new life and a whole new chapter starting after wedding day.
You've given him that already. I would sit him down and tell him that you want to get married and do the right thing. If he has NO interest in marrying you, then leave.
I know it might be difficult to leave with two children. But, do you want both your children growing up to think it's OK for a man to act like this? That is their male role model! He can't even commit to the mother of his kids? What's that teaching them?
You deserve better and you deserve to teach your children what real love and commitment means. Maybe, if you get serious about ending the relationship, he'll wise up and realize he has a LOT to lose!
But, the longer you live together without a ring, the less likely he'll be willing to propose. Add a baby into the situation and it's an instant family unit for him and he didn't have to lift a finger to seal the deal.
You're right. Six years is a long time. And unless you make an issue of it, he's probably going to continue to be content with a common-law arrangement. Especially as people are starting to call you husband and wife.
If you aren't content to accept the status quo, set a date. Tell him you want to get married. And you mean it. Unless he can give you a very good reason why he can't marry (like he already has a wife somewhere else) you aren't going to get him to commit unless you take drastic measures.
Sorry - that's not a very hopeful outlook. But that's the way it is.
You should ask him what future do he see you and him having. What is his plans with you, can he see himself married to you. Maybe you two need a slight break from each other for him to think things out, tell him you're tired of waiting. Marriage is a special bond between two people whether it's same sex or not, and if he loves you enough then he should be ready to tie that bond between you two.
I'm sorry about he loss of your child.
Right now, your man has everything he wants. He has a regular sex partner, a best friend to do cool things with, a wonderful companion, etc.
He has no incentive to marry you.
By marrying you, what would he be getting from you that he doesn't already have?
Gals, I hope you're reading this. If marriage is what you want, don't shack up with a guy until you get married to him.
Now look what's happened in this case. He has all the power.
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Me and My husband were boyfriend/girlfriend for 10 years and we finally got married in 2008. Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and he doesn't mean that they don't love you, but if you really want to get married give him an ultimatum. Make sure that you're not wanting to get married just because some of your friends and family members are married. ~Best of Luck to you
ask him straight out, do you want to marry me? let him know that you are ready and that you have waited long enough.. tell him that you love him and you want to be and have a family.. good luck
you should bring up the question to him as like do you think that weare ment for each other. when do you wanna get marry but dont run him away
You know what to do. Grow a spine and dump that playa.