How do I teach my six year old respect?
I have a 6 y.o daughter who doesn't seem to respect me, my things or even her things. Last night we were writing out her birthday invitations together when visitors arrived and we had to stop. When the visitors left I began work on my computer as part of her party preparations and she asked if we could do the invitations. I told her she'd have to wait .I stayed up late so all she had to do was write the names on them this morning . This morning when we started to finish them off I noticed she had drawn over her school class photos we had been using to check the spelling of names. She was well aware the photos were mine and she is very aware of the respect in which I treat photos. I asked her why she had done it and she just shrugged with the funny grin she gets on her face. I talked to her about her disrespect for other people's things and told her she had upset me by wrecking my photos. She just continued to grin. What is an appropriate punishment? How can I teach her to respect.
Comments
confiscate one of her favourite toys for a set time. make sure she understands that because she ruined something of someone elses that it is fair that she loses something of hers. this will allow her to understand how it feels to be in the other shoes
Teaching children respect is taught through three main forms:
The parents/care-takers respecting the child
The parents/care-takers respecting themselves, each other and others
The child respecting themselves and their property
At 6 your child is old enough to start learning the third, as she has seen the 1st and 2nd since birth. First, remember she is testing her limits and independence, as marked by the grin. A common solution to that situation is telling her, "I notice you marked on my pictures that are very special to me. I also notice that you don't seem to mind you did this. Marking my property is unacceptable and you will have to be punished b/c you chose to damage Mommy's pictured". Then punish accordingly...usually taking away a treat, tv time or time out.
After the punishment talk to her about why you punished her and ask her what she might do differently the next time. Then pick up her favorite doll or toy and explain to her that she should treat others and their items just as much as she loves _____ (favorite item).
Perhaps on a weekly basis I would talk to her about respect and what it means to you and her. Get her input. Ask her how she thinks she can show respect to others. There are also some excellent books out there (Bernstein Bears, anyone?) that deal with teaching social beahviour to children.
Hope this helps!
Children cannot really learn respect until they are able to put themselves in the shoes of others. At 6 they are still very self centered. This is something that I found only age and maturation can really solve. Don't be too hard but for sure let her know how unhappy she has made you. THIS is how they learn. Exaggerate your disappointment (fake tears) and tell her she really hurt your feelings by doing this and to please not do it again. Children do not want their mothers to be sad. They don't seem to feel the remorse when the parent shows anger and the remorseful feeling is what teaches them how to respect others. I am sure I will get lots of thumbs down but I have grown children and have no problems with any of them. They are all very respectfull and empathetic of others.
give her some time to think about what she did. tell her she was wrong. Tape the photos on her bedroom wall and let her look and see what she did and how sad it made you. leave them there and tell her if it happens again she will be punished. Teaching respect isn't easy I have 3 kids and am a single mom so good luck.
An old fashion butt whooping.