Is this paragrap correct?
Outside the Ming Fay Book Store Corp, Jill precisely duplicated the text from his iPhone onto the white paper. They then went back to all of the apartment buildings on Bayard Street and stuck one copied photo along with one written message wherever they thought the maximum amount of building residents would pass by. When that was done, they stuck a photo and a note on the street light behind the spot where Dan had parked. Thereafter, they went back to their car and drove off.
Update:Is the in the first sentence correct, or should it be omitted.
Comments
No. The paragrap(h) is not correct.
You need a period after Corp(.), Jill ......
You mention "Jill," but then say THEY then went back ..... you need to keep your tenses Straight.
They all went back to the apartment building....... stuck a photo and a message in high traffic areas .....
New Paragraph:
After they were done, they stuck a photo and message on the street light (just behind the spot where Dan had parked). When they were through, they went back to the car and drove off.
Outside of Ming Fay Bookstore, Emily duplicated the text precisely from his iPhone unto the white sheet. Afterwards, they went back to the old apartment building on Bayard St. and put a copied photo with a written message wherever they thought the maximum amount of residents would see it. When that was done, they stuck the same photo and message on the street light behind the spot where James had parked. Then they went back to their car and drove off.
- To put it in context, this is a narrative, so that's why it's all in one paragraph.
surprisingly lots, the final sentence would not make lots sense - it would be greater suited to declare - 'earlier long' extremely than 'no longer earlier long'
yet i admire using the quick sentence interior the middle 