Serious Family Problems?
Hi lately I've been having some trouble with my mum and nan. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and we are so happy together. He treats me with love and respect and takes good care of me. I only wish my nan and mum could see it this way. My mum compared him to her first husband the other night and that upset me becuase my mum's first husband wasn't very nice to her. My boyfriend has a lot of work at college and deadlines to meet and he doesn't want a job yet. But my nan insists he get one because she feels that his EMA which is £10 a month is unsuitable and he always has to buy equipment and therefore cannot pay for me but i've nagged him to get a job and I feel awful. I love him so much but I want to please my mum and nan and i love them both but I love him so much. Me and my boyfriend don't lve togetherand I'm only 18 but my mum wants me to go out drinking and clubbing and have more boyfriends. I don't really want to go clubbing or drinking cos I don't enjoy it.
Comments
I don't think you need to push your boyfriend to get a job if he just doesnt want one yet. Your mum and nan aren't the boss of him and you are 18 and you should be able to make your own decisions. You can do what you want, don't let your mum and nan pressure you.
College is a lot of work, but many manage to get their education and work too. He should be able to handle at least a part time job. Time management is a key to handling life. I personally go to college, raise my 4 children, care for my home, husband, and homeschool my children as well. It's not always easy, but it can be done - it just takes a little work. Parents often see things that their children miss due to love. Consider their thoughts on this one. As far as you going clubbing and drinking, not really the advice I would offer. I would say, you are 18 and if they are things you do not enjoy, that's okay. Maybe they were meaning for you to go out, socialize, and meet some new people. You are still young - keep your options open, along with your mind.
Is he in his last year of college then, just before A-levels? I think this would be a bad time to get a job, especially if you plan on doing well. Does he get good marks? Because if he doesn't then he doesn't really have an excuse for not having gotten a job earlier, or during the summer. Perhaps his parents have money, and they give him it when he needs it, so he just doesn't see the point of getting one. Just as long as he isn't wasting his time, and he's home studying or relaxing, and has no economic problems, then I think he's ok.
Don't go out drinking and clubbing if you don't want to! There's other ways of having fun. And perhaps you can concentrate on other things such as what you want to be doing with yourself. Good luck!
Your 18 now? Your parents need to suck up with what they want their lives use to be and be happy for you. They obviously don't feel happy for you and appreciate it. They believe in things like "money is going to be a problem, so put your education away and start working now" and that is not true. Education is what makes you smarter and abling to get a better job. Your boyfriend is just doing all he can do and seeing that your parents don't seem to care about anything but him not working, then screw them (no offense hehe).
If your boyfriend is still in college and can afford to go to college without having a job, then good for him...he'll come out of it with good job potential in the end, and in the meantime he can concentrate on his studies. If he's not going to college full-time and is just being lazy, then that's different. Your mom is just worried about him being lazy. Probably you can reassure her by not getting too serious and settled down with him until he's out of school and working. You're still very young.
Chick its you'r life i know how its feels to have your parents not appove of my boyfriend (2years)...im in a simular boat parents always dropping snide comments about him saying i can do better but at the end of the day its ur life and you love him im sure ur mum would rather knowing ur safe at home with ur boyfriend then out clubbin with different men and getting a name for yourself!!.... About the job stuff... just explain to you'r boyfriend that he needs to get a job even if its just a satday job!!.... xx
Seriously, he needs to get a job !!! You may love him and all and thats nice, but its time he stopped using college as an excuse.
Go out with your g/f's to the club and you could be surprised, you may have a good time.
Nobody says that you have to drink. You don't have to be smashed to have a good time.
They think they are looking at your best interests, but in reality study is still your boyfriends full time role and hopefully he will pass his exams and get a job that will allow him to look after you. Tell them you need to grow up now in your own time and learn your own lessons. Good luck.
well yeh i do think he needs to get a job
so who is dating this guy?
Plus why is he being criticised for improving his educational qualifications and focusing on them?