Bridesmaid dress dilemma, what do I do?
I originally picked out two styles of dresses for my bridesmaids. I informed the grooms sister of this, and I informed my MOH as well. I talked it over with my mom, the groom, his mom, and my grandmother. They convinced me that I should let each girls choose a different style dress that will fit their body and they will feel comfortable in. I thought this was a good idea, so I let my bridesmaids know. My MOH said she really liked the dress that I choose, and she would like to go with that one. I told her that was fine. I e-mailed the grooms sister and let her know that the MOH was going to wear one of the dresses that I had originally choose. I think she misunderstood me, and she e-mailed me back saying that she really liked that dress too. She said she was going to try it on, and see how it looks on her. Well my MOH tried on the dress today and said she is going to wear that one. What do I do? How can I politely inform my soon to be sister-in-law that the dress has been chosen?
Update:Originally, I wanted each girl to wear the same dress. After discussing it with others, I changed my mind. The dress that I picked out was very flashy and showed a lot of skin. This dress would not LOOK good on every one of my bridesmaids. Which is why I said they could choose a different style that they liked and felt good in. But, they cannot choose the same style dress.
Comments
I understand your reasoning and expectations, and I agree. Something similar happened to me, but it worked out because my 3 bridesmaids all picked the same one, and my MOH picked a different one!! I allowed it because it set her apart. I did give them the option to choose, though!
I think you can let her know that your MOH already picked that style, and let her know that you'd like them all to be different. If 2 are the same and the rest are different, that's going to look silly. Explain that, and she'll understand. Its also a good way to get them to hurry up and choose their dresses!! First come, first served!
Just be straight forward. The longer you wait the harder it's going to be. Call her up and say "Hey Jen... how are you? Listen I wanted to clear something up b/c I think we misunderstood each other through the e-mail. Nicky is going to wear dress #3 and I wanted her to have something different since she is the MOH, would you mind choosing a different style? " She should be cool with it. It is your wedding and it should be your choice. You are being very nice to let them choose their own styles so don't sweat it and do it now before she buys the dress.
from what you said, the whole point of offering different dress styles was so that each bridesmaid would look her best in the dress style that suited her best. Well, it is possible for the same dress style to suit more than one person. If they both wear the same dress and look good in it, then what's the problem?
I am sure that two people wearing the same dress will not ruin your wedding and that you will ultimately have more on your mind than that when the day comes.
I would just let them all wear what they want (out of the dresses that you chose of course). Don't stress over these small things. Your wedding should be about you. If your FSIL likes how it looks and feels comfortable in it, let her wear it.
By the way, I am standing up in my cousin's wedding next year and she let all her bridesmaids chose from 4 different dresses. Check this out though... the dresses are from David's Bridal, AND she chose Pool!! Beautiful color by the way. But I thought you were here for a second!
Good luck with your choice! And remember to keep the important things in mind. Worry about your and your FH's happiness. This day is all about you two.
If you want your brides maids to pick a dress that they feel comfortable in, then it's ok that some pick the same dress- it's what they feel comfortable in!
If you want your MOH to stand out, maybe she could wear a like color (something a little darker) in the same dress.
Why can't they both wear the same dress? If the idea of letting them choose their own style was so they could pick out a dress they like, then this works. It so happens they both like the same dress. Go with it. Don't let this little stuff stress you so much, or you'll be a wreck by your wedding day, dear. Best wishes!
I think I see what the misunderstanding is- do you want the MOH to be the only one who wears that dress? If there are only two dresses, how can one dress be "chosen"? If you have more then two girls, then there is no way that everyone will wear a unique dress, since you've only provided two options.
Perhaps you need to be more clear with everyone about what your expectations are.
in case you could arise with the money for to pay for all the dresses (or furnish to pay for one million/2 of all the ladies dresses) then do this. If no longer, possibly you may desire to pay for any extras including hair, makeup, nails or footwear of all the bridesmaids. That way she does get to keep some money on the value of being a bridesmaid yet all and sundry gets the comparable scientific care.
You gotta be honest with her...
Besides you can add an extra detail to your MOH dress, and even if is the same dress it would look a little diferent.
But tell your sister in law and if she still wants to wear the same dress, at least would be her choice.
Good luck!
I don't understand your dilemma.
You said the girls could decide which dress to wear.
The MoH and Bridesmaid like the same dress.
I see no dilemma there. You could always ask the two others if they like that dress as well. If they do, then they all match!
I'm not seeing the dilemma.