My dad doesn't respect women?
Its long, but i want to know what i should do...
He won't admit he has no respect for women, but the way he talks about women suggests it. He always liked my brother better and said i was bad because i was narrow-minded like a girl. Whenever we're watching a movie, he'll talk badly about the female character and make comments like "oh, shes like a prostitute." He keeps saying that i might run off with a guy, get pregnant, or become a prostitute; i guess its out of concern? But the way he says it is disgusting. I don't mind if hes sexist, but he has to be perverted too. I once said that when i was cooking, the smell of the food seeped into my clothing. He suggested i cook naked. I don't think he means in such a bad way. He isn't always that perverted, but he has a dirty mind. I wouldn't mind if he was perverted if he actually respected women. My dad won't admit he is sexist. He admits he has a dirty mind though.
I don't know if im overreacting but i find it hard to like him?
Comments
my dad was the same way. He had no respect for women, and would talk to the kids (including the girls) about women on tv, when we were all out together as a family, etc whatever way he wanted, even in front of our mom.
stay away from him as much as possible, hearing those kinds of things all the time, and not being able to do anything about it because he's your dad is going to get you VERY angry after a while.
Try to hang out with friends, other family members who don't share his views.
Good luck!
Do you know or has your dad ever told you that he loves you?
I find it hard to understand how a father could love his daughter and talk so poorly about the female gender.
Where's your mother/his wife in all of this? If I may ask.
He is definitely biased about his choice of words and generalized comments he directs towards women...have you ever tried to correct him? He might not like it, but the more you do it, the more he'll not want to hear it and the more he'll probably shut his mouth about his comments so he doens't have to hear a lecture.
When you see a movie and he says his "she's probably a prostitute..." comment, you say, "That actress' name is 'so-and-so' and she's playing the part of an (whatever), it's just a show." When he makes comments about your future, you tell him, "I plan to have a college degree and have a full time job to support myself."
Don't add fuel to the fire, but simply stand up for yourself and you can say, "I don't like what you're saying." Simply put, "I don't like that, I don't agree with that, I think you're wrong."
Parents are not always right and you need to show him that you don't agree with his choice of words and suggestions.
As you are 22 years, you can look out for a job or pursue your education vigorously and take up employment. Once you become economically independent, you will have more choices than now. Do not nurture the hatred feelings in your heart. This feeling will disturb your concentration and peace of mind. Develop positive thinking, ignore your Dad if you do not like what he does, look out for opportunities that will help you improve your employable skills. With positive thinking, you can definitely come out of this situation and improve your life. Best wishes.
Honey be glad that at least you have realized this & admitted to it some people don't. My ex had a bad relationship with his mother as a child....the outcome I strongly believe he intentionally belittles women back & forth yet his daughter, a grown up, does not realize it till today. I understand blood is thicker than H2O but hell if my father is an asshole....I say he's an asshole as simply as that same goes with my bro. I can only suggest to respect your dad....even if he doesn't deserve it, in the long run it will benefit you. Otherwise, just try to stay away from him....be there for him when he reaches out to u
let me first state that i do not beleive every man is like that.
however, my dad was and he raised his three sons the same way. i am 40 and even today i have 3 brothers who judge everything i do on a sexist level. its ok for them but not for me.
my dad was so bad that he told my mother what to wear and when to wear it. she never cooked a meal until he told her to and what to cook. she was allowed to have no contact with her family because her brother was a convicted child molester...while he sat back and bribed young women to perform sexual acts on him. know what our weekend recreation was? he rented a vcr and porn movies. we were expected to watch as a family. it showed that women were only good for one thing and they needed to know their place. flat on their backs with their legs spread. he beat my mother on a regular basis and she allowed it to happen. the comments your dad makes to you are highly inappropriate. be very careful that things do not turn to a sexual tendency towards you. you should talk to a counselor right now about the problem and keep her in the loop as to how things are going.
as for liking my old man...no i didn't until he became a Christian. 2 months before he died. and he lived to be 62.
WTF.. where is your mom?.. why doesn't she put a stop to it.. evidently he thinks this way about her.. but it would piss me off to no return.. my daughters father spoke to her and about her in that regard... I wouldn't have it.. you are not overreacting.. I think you are reacting mildly.. and where is your mom?.. Stay away from him.. but don't let the way he handles you force into the arms of someone like him.. he is your dad.. but that is a poor excuse for a dad.. he is supposed to lift you up and give the self esteem to know that you are special and are supposed to be treated special by any man that you come in contact with.., don't think that all men are like this because your dad is.... your dad is angry with someone from his past.. or something.. stay away from him... people also say when men are bitter towards women they are secretly hiding something huge..
good for you although he will probably admit it you are and understanding what that can do to others. You know the difference now and hopefully you will not do it later on in life. Because not many wemen like to be spoken to that way.