How do I cancel this party?
Hi there. On June 4 I was supposed to have a graduation pool party, and I invited ten people too many and my mom and dad got into a huge fight with me and my dad told me I 'took advantage' of him when I clearly never remember him telling me i could only invite a certain number so I went overboard and invited 25 people instead of the 'ten that he said he told me'. So I figured my relationship with my dad was more important than my graduation party and that I was going to cancel it, to make him happier even though it's making me miserable.
Anyway, I invited people through Facebook (and some through paper invitations). Do I message them all at once or send each person a message? What do I tell them? 'Personal' issues came up? I know quite a few people that will be VERY disappointed that it's canceled. How can I do this politely without giving too much info to them about my parents fighting with me about it?
Comments
You should tell them individually, and no reason is necessary. Unless they're really nosy or desperate to go, they won't ask you. Good Luck!
If you invited them on Facebook, just message them all at once and cancel the event. The message can be very generic ("Hey guys, I've had to cancel the party due to personal issues. Sorry.") It would be better if you called them (or at least send them a text message), so they can talk to you on the spot. That you will probably have to do with the ones you gave a paper invitation. If anyone asks, and you don't want to talk about it, just say so, "I prefer not to talk about it." If you tell at least one person any minor detail, be prepared to tell the whole group.
You might be able to get your father to yield, and although it's his fault for not being specific, remember it's also your fault for not asking. It's not like you were supposed to know he had a limit if he never told you, but you should have let him know firsthand, "I'm planning on inviting around so many friends". The "so many" has to be an actual number, and from there they would have been able to work around that number. "A few, a couple, some"... those aren't numbers, so don't use them. (And next time you plan a party, talk the details over with him.)
It sounds like your father is just like mine: he has an idea in his head, and somehow you're supposed to read his mind. Now, it's obvious that you can't, but you know how he is; you should predict that for the future and just go over every detail with him. (I missed out on my prom because my father wasn't going to pay the fee for a dinner that wasn't going to be in school... long story.) The point is, you know you have to tell him exactly what is on your mind, otherwise, you two aren't going to see eye to eye.
That said, if he's still ok with you having 10 people over, and you can choose ten people to come over, then ask him if you can have the party. If you can't choose, or prefer not to pick favorites out of the whole group (which would be wise), cancel it altogether, and plan another event away from home you can all attend.
First of all check your math; you invited how many more people than your dad said you could? _____
My suggestion: 1. tell your dad you are going to cancel the party and you are sorry you didn't understand the people limit 2. Ask if he would instead, give you a bit of money to go out with friends and get some desserts/sandwiches whatever. Maybe he will give you enough money for 25 sundaes. 3. cancel the party with apologies, You may say there was a misunderstanding in your family (no details necessary). At the same time invite the 25 to meet you at ___________(place), on _____(date), at ____(time), letting them know if you will treat them or if they will have to bring their own money. Be sure to clear the place, date, time, and your transportation with parents first.
Have fun!
You are not obligated to divulge why you're canceling the party. Simply say that circumstances beyond your control are causing you to cancel the party. You can post it on FB if you want but might want to call the paper invite people. Say that you might have another get together later in the summer, if possible, but you had to cancel this one. If someone asks, tell them it's a family matter and leave it at that.
Just message them or call if you can and just say the party is cancelled. You don't have to say why.
due to circumstances beyond my control...
actually your dad should be more liberal minded.