married wife; no sexual desire?
my hubby and i got married after dating for 4 years. we got pregnant on our honeymoon. our son is now 10 months old. during the wedding planning my sexual desire decreased a lot & we blamed it on stress. then i got pregnant and we blamed it on pregnancy. it's 10 months later and i am still sexually dead inside. my husband is hot, i love him so much, there is really no logical reason for me to feel this way. i'm 29 and he's 33. what is wrong with me? it's ruining our marriage quickly. how can i fix it? i would rather clean toilets than have sex. and it's not him- i try to picture sex with other guys just in case but still feel the same way.
Comments
See an endocrinologist. This is a link to a book. The site I am linking you too (about the book) has faq section addressing your question
http://www.hormonehelpny.com/book.htm
I hope this helps
Well, sex doesn't begin in the bedroom....can he help with the housework and your child? There are some books and stuff for rekindling the sex drive...how about adult movies or going to an adult book store, or toys?
Take a bath, get all dressed up, look forward to it!
Seduce him...sometimes if it's hard to get, its more fun. Don't just let him do all the work, even if you don't feel like it just keep going.
You DO still have a lot of stress....but sometimes you have to remind yourself that the toilets will always be dirty, there will always be dishes to wash...we are not promised tomorrow, so make the best of today with your husband.
Remember, marriage IS work but you don't have to dread it....most people take care of what they treasure..so take care of your marriage.
PS See the dr and tell them your problems..you could have something going on that would decrease your sex drive.
I would go and speak with your doctor, or a psychologist. You've got a lot more going on than you think. Maybe try speaking with a marriage therapist. I really doubt that a sexy vacation is what you need. You are a 29 year old woman and you should be ripping your husbands clothes off when he walks through the door! Best of luck to you.
It is really hard to say why your desires would decrease so much. Before I got pregnant with my third child, my hubby and I had relations daily. Before I gave birth he was deployed to Iraq and ever since he has come home, I have had no sexual desires either. There is no medical reason in my case, but maybe you could start with a physical, or talk to your OB/GYN.
Something HAD to change around the time the desire started to decrease. Think back. Did you start taking/stop taking any medications? Think along that line. If not, maybe something hormonal changed. Sex drive has alot to do with your hormones. It could be simply mental. Maybe you could see a doctor, or at least try and spice up your sex life.
See your doc. The same thing happened to me, ended up I was going through menopause and didn't even know it. I was 25 when this all started. I still have problems with sex, but it is mostly laziness on my part. I enjoy it once it gets started for the most part, but getting started KILLS me. I cringe even at the thought of it, but I know if I want to keep my marriage strong I have to give in every now and again.
But, do see your doc- he/she can and will help you
hope this helps and good luck
Is he still meeting your emotional needs like before? Many times, we women need to have those needs met before we can be completely attracted to someone. I think you should really dig deep to find out if there is anything at all that is different in your relationship.
I would suggest you write everything down on paper. Something may have triggered this..something you had buried or something you had simply forgotten. It wouldn't hurt to see a doctor. They might be able to tell you more. Good luck to you! Hope this helps.
It could be so many things.
Hormones, subconscious thoughts, stress from feeling the way that you do causing even less desire for sex, or maybe you just have a low sex drive.
You can try many different solutions though: change your diet, change your sleep patterns, "spice up" bedroom practices, see a specialist, etc.
Good Luck,
Relationship-Buddy
The excuse now? You've got a kid!!
Don't feel too hard on yourself. Maybe you could talk to someone professionally about it. Get some natural remedies or even something else prescribed?
You should talk to your doctor about this. I have never lost my sexual desire though I wish I would because I'm always horny and my husband is always too tired for sex.