How can I improve my self esteem?
I am depressed and think so lowly of myself. I feel that no one likes me and I think I am fat (I weigh 170 lbs). And this causes major problems in my marriage. My husband says I am fine but its not enough when I hate myself. Even when i was only 115 lbs I still felt the same as now.
And I get very nervous in social situations. I always feel like I am going to say or do something stupid.
Comments
Before you can begin to improve your self-esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn't necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. Once you have understood this, the first important step will be to begin to challenge the negative messages you give to yourself. For example, instead of saying: He is frowning. He didn't say anything, but I know it means that he doesn't like me, just change it by saying: O.K., he's frowning, but I don't know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask.
Also practice basic self-care, get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth. Plan fun and relaxing activities for Yourself such as going to a movie, taking a nap, getting a massage, planting a garden, buying a pet, learning to meditate-whatever you enjoy.
Don't forget to reward Yourself for your accomplishments. You could spend time with a friend, or compliment yourself for making that hard phone call. Try to remind Yourself of your strengths and achievements. One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep memories of accomplishments you are proud of where you can see them.
And not less important, forgive Yourself when you don't do all you'd hoped.
You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.
Well, maybe there's someone you could have regular talks with--a professional therapist, if you can afford it, or an understanding friend.
You sound depressed, and that is a treatable condition.
I think it might be important for you to figure out if your weight is up because you're depressed, or if you're depressed because your weight is up.
Either way, there are some good prescription drugs on the market, designed to treat depression, which have the side effect of causing weight loss. This may be because, as the depression lifts, the person has more energy.
Whether or not you want to get medical help, and whether or not you're one of the lucky Americans who can still afford it, I think a combination of therapy, support from friends--in addition to your husband--focusing on activities that you're good at, and regular exercise will be helpful.
Play to your strengths, dear.
Prayer works well for me.
Hope this helps. Best wishes.
People can do "dumb" things, I mean, we, and that means
you, and me do things that we wish we could take back.
It doesn't mean your stupid. I mean, you communicated
very clearly how sad you are feeling. You are good at
putting into words your emotions. Many people aren't.
Look, doing dumb things makes us human. OK?
We can only TRY to do better. Don't be so hard on yourself
and others. The next time someone pays you a complient,
try this, say, "thank you".
I accept any praise I can get today. Its called trying to
change my thinking from when i was told i was "stupid,
bad, et.al.
I don't know if this helps, I'm not trained in Psycology, but
you sound like a good person to me. Can you check into
seeing a psycologist? It helped me.
If you don't tell yourself that you are beautiful, no one else will. Everyone is cute in their own way. When you have low self esteem, believe it or not, everyone can see it. Carry yourself with pride and don't let anyone tell you less. The more you believe in yourself, the sooner other people will and you will live a much happier life. Good luck!!!!
why are you measuring yourself against other people? why are you letting yourself mentally abuse yourself? You can stop that you know. You control your thoughts. You can uplift yourself. You have that power. No one else has the power to make you believe anything. No one is in your head except for you.
Louis Hay is a great Author and I highly recommend reading her books. Affirm yourself and surround yourself with positive energy and thoughts. Be honest with yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Who cares if no one else does, your the only one who can break your heart. As long as you love yourself, nothing else matters. You do have control over your self esteem.
Social anxiety is very common. Speak with your physician about possibly trying an anti-anxiety and/or anti-depression medication to help you relax in these situations. It sounds like this has been going on for quite some time and it's time to take action. You shouldn't spend your life hating yourself. You deserve to be happy. Good luck.
improve esteem
You need to be comfy in your own skin. If you dont think you are beautiful how can anyone else. Admit you have flaws and admit that no one is perfect. Point out your good qualities and focus in on them.
Basically try not to sit on yahoo questions asking and answering, it's annoying seeing how many retarded people there are in the world. But basically.. try make yourself feel better. try make yourself look better, feel better, ask someone you like out, go out with friends. etc
Liposuction.