Everyday I contemplate suicide?
I feel alone. Sad, worthless and hopeless. I have a million excuses as to why but I won’t list them. Every day I will be fine, and then get really sad and hopeless and want to do it. I mean every day.
I’m not that messed up on the outside, from a perspective of someone else they would see me as average. I have a few friends, good grades and a head on my shoulders.
I know what depression and bipolar disorder are and I know there is medication you can get to help those.
My question is, not whats wrong with me, but why do I have to feel like this? Why do my friends never call on me, why does my family not love me, why does this have to happen? Why in a world of 7 billion people do I feel so incredibly alone.
Ive felt like this for over 8 months now, and I clearly don’t go through with the task. There are several reasons why, one is mainly out of fear. Fear of being unsure where I am going and not sure if it is worse than where I am right now. I also don’t do it because of selfish bastards who would call me a “coward.” Yes, even beyond the grave I care what people would say about me. As well, I do want to go on in the world and see what I can make of it, but I still don’t understand why. Life seems pointless and meaningless and in the end its just a vicious cycle of pain. Humans hurt other humans, humans hurt other animals, humans hurt nature, humans hurt ourselves. We have no line we have not crossed.
I feel sad, and alone. And I’ve read a million postings to know this feeling is “normal” but why does it have to be. Why are humans so damn heartless that we don’t know how to cure internal pain of another being without shoving pills down their throat, labelling them, putting them in a white room and preparing them to go back into the heartless world. Only to have the sadness return once again.
Comments
"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect It's successful outcome."
William James
Don't give up. Do what you love. And plus, I know what your going through because I am lonely too. Trust me, I know what your going through. But, just keep going because although I don't know who you are exactly, I do know that you are probably a very intelligent, beautiful, and generous person and that my friend is what you will always be. Keep going and fight your way the ought the world. I hope this helped.
Also listen to Billy Joel: You're Only Human and maybe that'll cheer ya up.
Typical? No. Does it mean you have a major crisis? Also no. If thoughts of suicide come to your mind typically, you then should customarily do whatever to stop it. You ought to recognize that suicide is not the answer to anything, all it does is carry misery and grief to these round you. You are already headed in the proper path simply by way of asking about this. The hot button is to seek out someone or anything to live for. Reputable help is not as excellent as one would believe. I've located that a excellent pal serves much better.
everyone goes through this. seek out caring and trustworthy people. avoid mean and hurtful people.
another thing that will help you feel good is to exercise - this will reduce stress and help you sleep well.
set goals, learn something new. hang in there, you'll be ok!
there is so much to live for, try to see the amazement in everything. one book that changed my life is "way of the peaceful warrior" by dan millman. i read it 14 times. socrates in this book is the man! you will love it. if you email me i can send you a copy. marcnh at yahoo . com
It's a chemical imbalance in your brain.
Do things for you, exercise, laugh, when you get down, force yourself to go for a walk till the feeling goes.
Life is what you make of it, and unless you want to change it ain't gonna happen.