How do I solve a 'moral' dilemma?
I am in a committed relationship which I would never jeopardise. Yet someone I work with, who is in position of power clearly 'fancies' me. Reporting him to HR is out of the question. This is something that needs to be solved on a personal level, but how?
Comments
Think about this one for a minute. He may simply not be aware that you're not available. All you really need to do is politely tell him that this is the case: you are already in a fully committed relationship, and have been for some time, and that you are not available.
A social worker once counseled me when I was in excactly the same situation and she told me, "When you tell him, do not beat around the bush. Say it like you mean it. Do not flirt when you tell him. Be very direct and clear and forceful in your tone so he definitely gets the message first time."
Yes, the tone of your voice and the conviction you have in your position will help you get your point across.
Yeah, HR shouldn't be involved at this point since "fancies" doesn't usually involve them. However, if he is asking you out on dates, or taking you away on business trips and forgetting to book you a room, well that is a different story. I'm assuming that you may fancy him back a little, otherwise you wouldn't be worrying that your relationship is in jeopardy. You can't really control him at this point, but your feelings are a different story. You should probably talk about your partner in that small talk he's having with you. Keep reminding him, about that commitment you've made. And keep reminding yourself as well. He can't make you cheat.
for my area it could be incorrect to torture his spouse, positively. As for him although....i'm undecided. very sturdy question. i could say in this occasion, if all of us understand for a actuality that he planted the bombs and that persons's lives are at stake, it truly is justifiable. that is such as a conflict issue. enable's say you have been a soldier in Iraq. you notice a small newborn coming in direction of you yet you recognize he has a bomb strapped to him and that the enemy has despatched him into your camp. Many lives are at stake and you have a option to make. Kill him the place he's so as that the explosion does not harm your fellow comrades or enable the boy are available, killing everybody interior the approach. you are able to hopefully shoot the youngster. Now, i understand that is style of of a distinctive issue, however an identical concept applies. yet another observe-- completely inhumane torture in pointless. i could say putting him in a pool and extremely almost drowning him till he talks is the thank you to flow. i does not stand for reducing him up till you won't have the capacity to even tell he's human.
Try and find out for sure that they 'fancy' you - it could be their flirtatious nature, or something like that.
If they do, then you obviously need to talk to them - especially if it's making you feel uncomfortable - by gentle confrontation. I know that sounds oxymoronic, but I think you should try and talk it through with them and make sure that it's not going to get into a deeper level, and that it stays harmless.
Good luck...
Do something that will shatter his perfect image of you without offending him or starting a rumor about you.
Better yet, think of some social thing for you, your significant other, some friends, and he to do. Then, invite him to the event while being very clear that your significant other and you hope that he can make it.
Tell him you aren't interested. Try to be as easy about it as possible. Tell him it's because you don't believe in dating people you work with (even if that's not the case). If he persists then it is sexual harassment.
Tell this person that you are very flattered (even if your not) but that you would never want to jeopardize either of your jobs and you respectfully decline.
Mentioning partner continually is always helpful!
YOu must be strong, and devious. Would spreading a rumor you have something contagious work? Like herpes?
just talk to him
answer mine
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200903...